We found ourselves in the same room and became friends, Me, Alice and Efe. From the first year to date, it has always been us and no one in between. I think what makes the bond between us tight is because of our individual stories. We all come from not too well backgrounds but when placed on a scale, mine would be the worse. I don’t have any of my parents alive so the school I’m attending, it’s my senior brother and my junior brother who learned a job after school who are taking care of me. It’s hard for me, sometimes what I will eat even become a problem. My two friends are also in the same situation just that theirs is not too hard like mine.
When we were going in the second year, it became so hard for me to pay fees. My senior brother was getting married and had no extra money to help pay my fees and my junior brother also said he couldn’t do it all alone so I was hanging in the balance. I took what my junior brother could afford and came to school with it. I told my friends about my situation and they said, “No need to worry. We will try and get it resolved before it gets to a critical point.” I don’t know how they did it. Within one month, I was in bed when Efe threw a bundle of money at me. She said, “We are set. Go and pay and let’s have fun. We can’t dull down because of our worries.”
It was like a Christmas day in May for me. I was overjoyed and thanked them as if they were thrown from the skies to come and help me. Alice screamed, ”Come off it. What are friends for?”
Throughout the semester, I ate from their palm and they never complained. Alice has a boyfriend who helps. Efe has a sugar Daddy who comes around every evening to give her money or takes her out to expensive places. She never comes back empty-handed. She would bring a piece of whatever she ate so the two of us could munch on it. That’s the life they lived. Efe told me, “Just to get by, else I won’t be able to complete this course.” Alice also said the same thing, “There’s nothing good coming from home so I have to look sharp.”
The good thing was these two never pressured me to do anything I didn’t want to do. Right from the onset, I told them, “I wish I could have a sugar daddy too who would be doing all these things for me but the truth is, I can’t do it. I can’t pretend when it comes to love. I should love the person deeply before I can give myself to him, else I will throw up mid-way shuperu and he would disown me right from the beginning.” They laughed at me. They said a lot of things to tease me but they never pushed me into anything. Efe said, “It’s good to have you this way. Stay like that and give us directions. As for us, we are already spoilt so unless heaven that can save us.”
We got to the third year and I met Nunoo. I didn’t know what to do with him so while he was all over me I was with my friends, discussing him and the way forward with him. Each time I talked to Nunoo, I mentioned the names of my friends to him so one day he said, “Who are these ladies that you always talk about? I want to see them. Maybe they are the people advising you not to fall in love with me.”
One evening, he came around and the three of us went to meet him. He drove us off campus to a place where we could eat and drink. All night he was funny and very warm towards us. He didn’t even mention the fact that he liked me in the presence of my friends. When he brought us back to campus, he told my friends, “The way your friend is stretching me, please say something on my behalf before I break down.”
All night these two girls were on me, “Asantewaa, what do you want to see again before you say yes? If you can’t fall in love with a guy like this then you need special prayers. He’s not married, he has a nice car, he looks warm and has a huge sense of humour. He’s madly in love with you so what are you waiting for?” I told them, “Maybe he’s too good to be true. You think a man like him doesn’t have a girlfriend? You must be joking. What kind of man owns this car and won’t have a girlfriend?” Efe told me, “Your soul doesn’t like good things. It may be a curse you have to work on. You want a wretched guy? Someone who can’t feed? Someone who will tell you let’s see what God can do when you ask him for money? Girl, think straight“
The next time when Nunoo came around, I went home with him and that night, I said yes to him and we kissed. He didn’t push any agenda. He allowed me to be myself and drown in his presence. I went to his house very often and he didn’t even try to have shuperu with me. He said, “Let me know whenever you’re comfortable.” One day, I went to him and didn’t go back to school. I slept in and everything happened. I let it loose so he can have me all to himself.
I was looking for him to change his attitude towards me after shuperu but he didn’t change. Instead, everything got intense. He said he would take care of me and I believed him. He said we would get married after my national service and I fell in love with him all over again. He brought me supper every evening after work. Sometimes he would get my friends a special gift and say thank you to them for helping him to get me. He called me a queen though all my life I’d never worn a tiara. Through all these good times my heart never rested. I was scared I was going to lose him. “If I lose this guy my world would come to an end. Whatever I did that the universe sought to bless me this way, I want to know so I can repeat it again and again. I want more of this.”
On his birthday, he said he would travel and come the following day. It was Efe who brought this crazy idea that we should go and surprise him. “We would go there early morning tomorrow before he travels and deliver his birthday gift to him.” We all agreed. We bought a pair of shoes and a blazer in his favourite colour. We put a bottle of champagne on it and left campus around 5:00am. We got there and saw his car. I did the sign of the cross knowing he was around. We knocked on his door and we heard the voice of a woman. Efe asked me, “He lives with a woman?” I answered, “No, he doesn’t. Maybe a relative came to visit.” We knocked again and this woman came to answer the door.
She was in her nightie and wearing an oversized bonnet and looked like we had disturbed her sleep. Just when she asked what we were looking for a child cried from the inside and she screamed, “Kiki, mommy’s here.” Efe started going back while Alice gave me a look that said we should run. I was curious so I said, “I’m looking for Mr Nunoo.” She said, “This early morning? Who gave you this to give to him?” We were caught flat-tongued. I said, “He would know when he gets it.” She screamed for him and left us at the door. He came holding the hand of the child. I was already in tears. Efe and Alice had already left me standing there alone. He shook when he saw me. He closed the door behind him and started talking almost in whispers. “Why are you here at this time? I told you I would be travelling so why are you here? Just go we’ll talk when I return.”
I walked backwards for a few seconds while maintaining my gaze on him. I said, “Thank you” and we left.
In the taxi back to campus, I cried like a baby. I was hitting the car seat and screaming, “I knew it! I said he was too good to be true but you girls won’t believe me. You see? You see what has happened? He’s married with kids, did you see that?” Efe tried to cover my mouth to stop me from speaking. “Please wait until we get to campus. This is a public place.” I cried until we got to campus. I was even shaking like I was possessed. They were sad for me. They had never seen me happier so the state I was in got them worried. But they did their best. Friends like these two can’t be found anywhere. Every night, we’ll take a stroll on campus or visit some exciting places. I didn’t hear from Nunoo until a week later.
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He came with an apology but I was only looking for closure. He told me the truth, “Yes I’m a married man. We’ve been married for seven years but I saw you and my heart fell for you. It wasn’t my intention to deceive you. I love you truly and I’m not ready to give up on you.” I got angry and even attempted to slap him. He said, “Feel free, hit me if that will make you feel better. I’m sorry. Forgive me but please don’t leave me.” That night when he left, I blocked his line. The next morning, he called through Efe’s line. I spoke to him. He was begging. I warned Efe not to bring his call to me again but whenever he calls, she brings it to me. If she doesn’t, he would call Alice. He calls every day with an apology.
My friends have fallen for his posture and have started convincing me to take him back. “He’s married but he’s not a bad person. How many months are left before we leave school? You can entertain him to get what you want so after school you cut him off,” Efe said and Alice agreed, “The harm has already been done. You’ve dated a married man so why don’t you go ahead and date him fully? It’s what he gives you that is important. You’re hurt deeply, get paid for it or go ahead and continue losing.”
I’m getting convinced each day. I want to give him another chance because the harm has already been done. But the question on my mind is to what end? Yes, I need his money but the kind of woman I am and the conscience I carry won’t allow me to enjoy it. I know it’s difficult but I’m tempted to continue with him what we started. He had been good to me. What do you think? I’m not asking for advice, I must confess. I need to be heard but I want to be told something different too, something from someone who won’t be biased.
—Asantewaa
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Asantewaa hmmm I want encourage you to date a marriage man never, you will get what you need but will never go free karma has it price waiting for you free you heart and let him go, I have three things to tell you
1. You have no idea who the wife hmmmm some wife are evil to the extend of killing you, ruin your life
2. Karma it’s there my dear I’m a victim to this so I know what I’m talking about you will receive whatever you did to someone and this time yours would be time three than what you did to other ladies
3. I will tell you to pray and ask God for forgiveness and God will help you in you own ways, don’t break someone’s happiness because of your selfish interest, God is against breaking someone’s home, what God has joined together let no man separate it. I would advice you as a lady, as a sister and as mother not to date a married man
Asantewaa, it’s not a question of Nunoo’s truthfulness or the sincerity of his apology and remorse. These lies are standard in the relationship business and the apology too same. The question, to me is, what moral standards have you set for yourself? Are you prepared to go after someone’s husband, and possibly break up a family? Would you want that done to you some day? Because the law of karma works, my dear sister.