I met her when I was working a part-time job at her school. She was in Junior high school then. We knew each other but we didn’t have any form of relationship.  I worked there for a year and then left for the university. The next time I saw her was in 2020 after she completed secondary school and I had finished my national service. We exchanged contacts and started talking. Through our conversations, I realized I lived in the same neighborhood with her parents. She on the other hand was working in a different state.

In March 2020, when the Covid-19 pandemic hit the world, she lost her job and moved home to her parent’s place. It was bad that she got laid off but something good came out of it. We were close to each other. We spent a lot of time together and had deeper conversations. We spoke extensively about our past relationships. She told me about her ex who dumped her before he traveled outside the country. I told her about my past heartbreaks too, and we consoled each other.

We took our time to build our friendship. We visited each other and met each other’s families. In August 2020, I shot my shot and she accepted it. A few months into the relationship I realized she was still in touch with her ex. I didn’t like it so I sat her down and talked to her about it; “Your communication with your ex is not healthy for our relationship. I don’t talk to my exes so I don’t expect you to keep talking to yours.” She agreed with me and promised to do better.

In December 2020, I was trying to fix an issue with her phone when a message popped up from her ex. I opened it and read their chat. My girlfriend was asking her ex if he still had a place in his life for her. She told the guy she was single and was waiting to be loved. I was shocked and confused at the same time. She was very committed to our relationship so I didn’t suspect she was unhappy. I confronted her about the messages and she apologized. She accepted her mistake and again promised to do better. I loved her so I forgave her and continued with the relationship.

Her secondary school results were not good so she couldn’t gain admission to the university. She wrote private exams but she failed that one too. I went about talking to high-ranking people in our society so that they could pull some strings for her to get into school. Eventually, she got into a school. Everything between us was good when she started schooling. I helped her with money when she needed it. I visited her when I got the slightest opportunity.

During her first semester vacation, her ex came to town and he came to greet my girlfriend’s parents. I was with her when he showed up. She introduced me to him as her boyfriend and that set my mind at ease. The thought of her returning to him was laid to rest until she changed toward me drastically. She wouldn’t reply to my texts and she ignored most of my calls. I didn’t understand why she changed. I asked her politely on several occasions if I did anything wrong. She said “Nothing is wrong. Just rest your mind.” Her attitude continued for a long time, even when she came home for her second-semester vacation, she was still behaving the same way.

She set a trap for me so that we’ll have a misunderstanding. I fell into the trap and we argued. She used it as an opportunity to withdraw from me and shut me out completely. After a while, she came to apologize for her actions. She said, “I was having a hard time with school and I took it out on everyone. I am sorry for the way I treated you.” I forgave her but I didn’t buy into her explanation. I went through her phone and I felt sorry for myself considering the things I discovered. She had exchanged nudes with her ex and they slept together when he was in town. She was hoping to get back together with him and that’s why she withdrew from me. As their chats progressed I found out that the guy performed traditional marriage rites for another girl. That was why she came back to me with an apology.

In some of their conversations, they talked about me and mocked me. To say that I was hurt is an understatement. I thought about breaking up with her but I saw that she had changed. She was loving and committed as she was when we first started going out. I thought she regretted her actions and she was trying to make up for it. I didn’t tell her what I saw on her phone. I continued with the relationship as if I didn’t know she cheated on me.

Somehow, I felt I wasn’t doing enough for her; “Maybe, if I did more for her, she wouldn’t cheat again,” I thought to myself. I went out of my way to be the perfect boyfriend, buying her what she didn’t even ask for. We were happy.

We were in a good place for a year until recently. She started withdrawing from me again. I questioned what the issue was and she said there was nothing wrong. I wanted answers so I consulted her phone. I found out that she is still talking to her ex. He is coming to town to have his wedding and he had planned with my girlfriend to give him shuperu as a parting gift.

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This time, they are planning to take a trip to another state so they can be free to do whatever they want to. It baffles me that this girl doesn’t see that her ex is just using her to satisfy his immediate needs for shuperu. I don’t understand how she is comfortable sleeping with a guy who doesn’t think her worthy of marriage.

This guy has enjoyed free shuperu and other intimate photos from her yet he is getting married to another woman he claims to be a virgin.  I have screenshots and video evidence on my cloud. I kept records because I know nobody will believe me when I tell them she is a cheat. She presents herself as a church girl so in everyone’s eyes “She is a good girl.”

If you go through their chat, you get the notion that the guy has already introduced her to his fiancée as his cousin. He even convinced the lady to add my girlfriend to the bridal team. To the best of my knowledge, the lady doesn’t suspect that something is going on with her man and my girl. What kind of wickedness is this? How can you allow someone you are sleeping with to be part of your bride’s maids? I cannot wrap my head around how the woman I want to marry would do this.

So, I want to make them both pay for their deception. A part of me wants to involve the family of the bride and share my evidence with them. However, I’m concerned that they would call off the wedding. I don’t think the innocent fiancée deserves that kind of drama. As for my girlfriend, I don’t want her anymore so I don’t care what becomes of her. I need ideas on how to get the two of them to pay without involving the fiancée. Please give me suggestions.

—Willis

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