Kwesi and I work together. For about a year our relationship was strictly professional. One day we ran into each other at a popular food joint. We spoke briefly and that was when we realized we lived in the same neighborhood. The next day he sent me a message; “I am going to buy Waakye. If you are interested meet me at the junction so we go together.” I didn’t see the message in time so we couldn’t meet that day. However, it marked the beginning of a food search tradition and our friendship. We met every Sunday afternoon at our junction and went to get food.
He had a car so he gave me lifts to and from work. We were both in relationships so sometimes we talked about our partners. He came to me if he was having issues with his girlfriend and I always played the devil’s advocate. Sometimes he listened to me, other times he complained; “On whose side are you? Am I not your friend?” If I also had problems with my boyfriend and I needed a male’s perspective, Kwesi was the person I spoke to.
One day he called; “My girlfriend broke up with me.” For a minute I didn’t know what to say. When I found my words I asked him, “Do you want to go for a walk?” He said yes. The silence between us was heavy and sad. I didn’t have the right words to comfort him. His eyes looked pained. The usual bounce in his steps was gone and his voice lacked life. I wasn’t the one who got dumped, but I felt the pain. The best I could do was give him space to heal.
As time went on his old self returned. He smiled occasionally, the bounce in his steps came back, and his voice sounded lively. By some dark twisted fate, my boyfriend also left me just around that time. I saw it coming but it still hurt. I was heartbroken for days. Kwesi laughed at me. He said, “You should have left that guy long ago. Why did you wait for him to dump you instead?”
Whenever I was alone I would cry my heart out. When I was with Kwesi, he made jokes and I laughed. Eventually, the pain of my heartbreak dulled and I started to feel better. We went to work together, had lunch together, closed together, and rode home together.
And then we started talking about our sex life. At the time I didn’t make anything of it. I believed I had finally found a male friend I could relate to on any level. Apparently, my heart didn’t see it that way. I woke up one day and felt strong emotions for him. One Saturday morning he came around. I was cleaning my washroom and he asked how he could help me. I jovially asked him to clean my room. I stepped out for a few minutes only to return to see this man actually cleaning my room. I watched him from my door for some time and thought to myself; “Why is this man single? Such a helpful and caring man.”
I think that was the moment I fell for him.
I tried to hide it and keep playing the part of a friend. Our relationship grew steadily until we became inseparable. After work, we’d end up at my place and I would cook for us to eat. I took the opportunity to drop hints about the way I felt for him but he didn’t act like he understood me. I tried all the obvious tricks I could think of but he didn’t say anything. One day we had a conversation and he told me that he doesn’t propose to women. He said, “When I am attracted to a woman, I do my best to get them to fall in love with me but I don’t tell them how I feel until they make their first move.” I took that information as a signal to make my move.
One day when he was leaving my place after work I playfully told him, “I love you.” He smiled and said “I have that effect on people” and then he left.
A couple of weeks later we went on a food date. While we were eating I looked at him and said, “I am in love with you.” He stared right back at me and said “I know” and then went back to his food as if what I said didn’t matter. I lost my appetite.
A day after the proposal, while I was busy contemplating how I was going to face him afterward, I heard a knock on my door. It was him. He asked if I was alright and I said, “I had a headache but I’m okay now.” We talked for a while and he left. We continued our friendship as if nothing had changed. One day he came to visit me at home and things got physical between us. We ended up doing it. Shuperu. After that, my feelings for him intensified.
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On his birthday, we ended up in my bed. After lovemaking, I professed my love for him again. Again, he said, “I know.” I said, “I know you know but I want to know how you feel.” He replied, “I am not ready for a relationship.” When I opened my mouth to speak again, he cut me off, “Sleep dear, it’s been a long night.” I tiptoed to my washroom and wept till I felt numb.
Since that night, I have not been the same. My brain wants me to walk out of whatever relationship this is. My heart, however, wants this to continue. I’ve prayed about it, “God, this is not what I want. Help me be able to walk out of whatever this is.” Nothing happened.
I am always fighting an inner battle because of this. It has taken a toll on my social life, and work life. I have been awfully quiet lately. I am always hatching a plan to escape from this hole I’m in but I just end up falling deeper.
Currently, all I want to do is walk away. What’s happening between us is not what I envisage. I don’t want shuperu for nothing. I want it because I’m emotionally involved with the person. This one here isn’t emotionally involved with me. What do I do to walk out of this? I’ve relied on my strength but it failed. My prayers aren’t being answered. What else can I do to break this off? I want to get out. Please help me.
—Meg
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Sorry for your situation Dear, but I think he is a player. A man who doesn’t chase or propose to women but make women fall for him to chase him or make the first move is a huge red flag. He is just using you to buy time for himself and satisfy his sexual desires. I won’t be surprised if he ends up marrying someone else and sends you an invitation card. Identify and know your self worth and walk out of this unhealthy relationship before you waste more time or it is too late. Tell him that the friends with benefits is over and stay away from him as much as you can. You will heal with time and a better man will come your way Dear. I will advice you to abstain from pre-marital sex until marriage to save yourself from the hands of players.
I need you to pay careful attention, because I’m going to solve your problem.
That man is an advanced student of Pick Up Artistry (PUA). PUA has to do with using psychological tricks and gimmicks to compel women to like and do exactly what a man wants. There are a lot of coaches who teach men these tricks over the internet and in real life. These coaches have lots of books on tricks and gimmicks to make any women fall. Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Swinggcat, David DeAngelo are few of the most prominent coaches.
From your story, I can tell that your man is a student of Swinggcat. PUA is just very powerful and potent. Since I was born till this very day, I have never seen any strategy as potent as PUA. A man can turn a woman into a slave using PUA.
In conclusion, the man deliberately manipulated you into having feelings for him using PUA. He psychologically triggered you into the position you currently find yourself.
I can help you break the chains he has over you. But there are a couple of questions I need to ask you first before I can intervene. I can also help you turn the table and make him to like you and pursue you………..if you want that.
You can contact me via my email or instagram