I had an office job once. That was before COVID. I dressed up nicely each morning and went to work but my salary wasn’t that nice. You’ll look at the way I dressed and think I was the most well-paid employee on the planet but at the end of each month, I looked at my salary and asked myself, “Is that all? All the struggle to get a car in the morning, all the struggle in thick city traffic comes to this?” I couldn’t stop. I was looking elsewhere for opportunities but I couldn’t stop when the opportunity I was looking forward to hadn’t presented itself.  

Covid happened. 

I went to work one morning and was told to get ready to lose my job because the company was going down. I prayed against it. It was the worse period for anyone to lose their job so each night when I went down on my knees I told God, “Man, you know my problem. My struggle is naked before you. This job hasn’t been the golden buzzer moment in my life but it keeps body and soul together. How would I live in this crazy moment if I lose my job? Make yourself big in my lowest moment. Let me star shine. Part the seas of my troubles so I can walk through it peacefully.”

I went to work one morning and I was invited to the HRs office. She looked at my face and said, “I’m sorry…” She said that while handing over a letter to me. I knew what that meant. She didn’t have to say much. I’ve received a letter from that same HR before and before she handed me that letter she smiled and said, “Congratulations…” But this one came with “Sorry…” I knew there and then that I’d lost my job. I closed from work that day, packed the few things that belonged to me, and left the compound never to return again. On my way home, I asked God, “Does this glorify you? Tell me. Does this make you happy? What kind of a father looks on for her daughter to lose her job in a dire moment like this?” 

I got home, coiled myself in bed, and cried myself to sleep. 

The following day a friend called me. I told her what had happened to me. She said the same thing I’d been saying all day; “Who loses her job in a moment like this?” I told her, “In case you hear of an opening where you’re working, please let me know.” She said, “No problem. Currently, there’s an opening but it’s way below your qualification. I will speak to our HR about you and see what will happen.” I asked, “What is the opening and what are they looking for?” She answered, “Oh they are looking for a waitress. The old one got pregnant and resigned.” 

Four days later, I was in my waitress uniform serving people who came to the restaurant to eat. I took a picture in the washroom, posted it on my timeline, and wrote. “So that Facebook will remind me of this day every year.”

The salary was close to what I was getting in that office but what made it more exciting was the tips I received from people who felt obliged to give. I smiled a lot. I was readily available. When I served a customer, I was responsible for him or her until they leave the restaurant. Whenever they hissed at me, I run to them to take care of their needs. After everything, they’ll pat with their change. One good day, I went home with GH¢887 from tips. That was more than my salary at that time. I took my job seriously and I got rewarded for it.

I served a gentleman and his friends one day and he asked for my name though I had been wearing my name on my chest all day. When they were leaving, he tipped me GHC100. I was grateful so I smiled at him and said thank you. The following day they were there again. Again he tipped me. The next day he came alone. After everything, he asked for my number. I wrote it behind the receipt and handed it to him. He said, “My name is Jerry. I will call you this evening. What time do you close?” I told him.

He called around 11pm when I was about to sleep. I was yawning when I was talking to him. At some point, I was half asleep while talking to him. I don’t even remember what we talked about that day but he never called again until a week later. When he called he accused me of not sounding interested the day he called and it was the reason he stopped calling. I apologized and told him, “I break down each night when I get home. Because of that, I don’t want to do anything but sleep. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.” He called one day when I was off duty. I went out with him and he was fun to be with. I got to know a lot about him and he even went to the extent of telling me his heartbreak stories with women. I told him what I wanted him to know about me. Days later, he proposed and I said yes. 

We are in the second year of our relationship. He had been helpful in a way I didn’t expect him to be. He shows me great love when the opportunity comes. He gives me great advice when I need it. When I need help and he can give it, he does it willingly. He has never shied away from letting me know how much he loves me. The only thing he doesn’t like about me is my job. He started complaining about my job when our relationship was only three months old. I told him, “Yeah I know I have to change my job. I’m in the job market looking for an opportunity. Once I get a good one, I will leave. This job wasn’t something I even thought of doing but this is where I am now. Just give me some time and I will get a new place of work.

He started putting words in for me in places he knows. One day one of those places called me for an interview and I went. It was the right kind of job in the right kind of environment. It was the kind of job that will give me the opportunity to dress well again but the salary was not good. Of course, I had to compare it to where I am working and see if it was an advantage. The job didn’t come with any perks apart from the salary which wasn’t good. My waitress job doesn’t pay well but there’s an opportunity to earn more so I said no to the offer. He got angry. He didn’t understand why I will choose a waitress job over an office job. For the first time in our relationship, he insulted my intelligence; “You don’t have dreams. If this is how you’re going to live your life, then I’m sorry to tell you that you don’t have a future. Which lady in her right senses would choose a waitress job over a corporate one?”

I forgave him though he didn’t say sorry. It spoilt the mood of our relationship for some period. I was patient. I explained things to him. I even told him that I was saving money to start my own business if nothing happens in the next couple of years. He still insisted I should leave that job but I didn’t. I’m still working there and we are still fighting about it. I’m not sharing my story today because we are fighting over my job. No, It doesn’t bother me because I have the master plan for my future. I’ve told him and he doesn’t believe in it but I do and I’m sticking with it. 

This is why I’m sharing my story today…

He had started accusing me of cheating. I got promoted some months ago. I’m no longer a waitress. I told him about it but he wasn’t happy. He said, “I hope you didn’t sleep with anybody there to get that promotion.” I asked, “You mean I don’t deserve it? Is that how low you think of me? I’m a degree holder. I over qualify for this promotion looking at the experience I have under my belt.” He wouldn’t have it anyway. He continued on the tangent of me sleeping my way up. I tried to ignore him. The problem now is, he continues seeing me as a waitress when I had stopped waiting so many months ago. He continues hooking me up with office job opportunities that pay so little than what I’m receiving currently and insists I should leave my job for those ones. 

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A couple of weeks ago, I was with him in his house when his friend and his girlfriend visited. We were there chatting and having fun when the conversation swayed to jobs. His friend’s girlfriend works at the bank and she was talking about the challenges there. My boyfriend cut her in the middle and said, “Your job is better than working as a call girl. If someone here listened to me, she would have been doing something like this but she prefers doing the bid of men to get their money.” He didn’t mention my name but he made it so obvious that his friend and his girlfriend came to look at my face. I took a washroom break and never returned to the conversation again until they left. When they left I told him, “So you’ll go to the extent of disgracing me, demeaning me in front of your guests?” He said, “What did I say that was a lie?”

I left his house and thought of never going back to him again. He called two days later to ask why I had stopped calling him. Honestly, my spirit is no longer in the relationship. I believe he would only love me better if I was an office worker and that to me isn’t love. I have a dream of starting my own business. Plans are far advanced. I’ve saved enough money to start and am currently under training, learning how to start right and move from A to B. He’s aware of all that but still insists I should get an office job. I don’t think we have a future together and want to leave the relationship but something tells me I would be making a great mistake because he means well.

What should I do?      

–Fatima

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