My father died when we were still young. He died and left our mother to cater for us, three very young children who were barely in their teens. Singlehandedly, my mother worked so hard to cater for us. She didn’t stop even when she lost her job. She decided to start a trade with what little she had and worked even harder.
The money my mother made from her trade wasn’t much, but she tried to put us all through school successfully. I got a job after school, but, that too wasn’t enough to make our family as comfortable as we wished to be.
Our troubles wouldn’t end just yet. Seye, my younger brother, had finished school but couldn’t get a job. We were all trying to help him get a job. I contacted everyone I knew could help, my friends, my late father’s friends, relatives, none was yielding the results we wanted. My mother, that woman though, what wouldn’t she do for her child? She called everyone she knew. She visited offices and sat for hours just to see people who she thought could help my brother. She sent a lot of messages to people and did everything she could.
As my mother kept trying, so did I. Day in and day out, we made efforts to get Seye a job. Seye was trying too, really hard. After several “go and come” and many “I’ll get back to you”, a husband to one of my mother’s aunties offered Seye a job. It was, however, a job based on a contract. The job came with a meager salary and no security. His contract could be terminated any minute and we’d be back to square one.
Once again, my mother went back to searching for a job for my brother. The whole cycle was repeating itself, many calls and text messages, several office visits, my mother wouldn’t give up, still.
It all paid off one fateful day when we got a call from a friend of our late father. He had gotten a job for Seye at a company and was calling to ask him to go for his letter at the company the next day. He was offered a job, a permanent job. A job that paid very well. We were overjoyed, especially my mother, that woman who worked so hard. Her work finally paid off.
Two years later, Seye brought a lady home and introduced her to us as his fiancée. “We’ll like to get married soon,” he said. We were all so happy. I was already married to a good man with whom I had a son, so Seye’s intentions made us all very happy. Our family was becoming bigger and we were all comfortable with our lives.
Two months after Seye introduced Petra, his fiancée to us, we found out She wasn’t a Christian. she is a Buddhist. This changed everything. We are Christians. A very strong Christian family. We would have loved to have one of our kind. You know, our guiding principles say, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” We were trying hard to draw his attention to that.
My mother called for a meeting and we talked about Seye’s intention to marry Petra. “Build more on your professional life and your finances. Allow some time so that Petra can learn more about our faith and become a Christian before you marry her,” our mother suggested. I agreed with her and tried to make Seye see reason, but he wouldn’t have any of it. Love had taken over his heart and reasoning, so much so that he wouldn’t listen to what a mother and a sister has to say.
My mother was devastated. She got our relatives and church elders to talk to Seye, but he wouldn’t listen. He was entrenched in his choice which we didn’t have problems with. We were only trying to allow time to pass just to see if we could work on Petra to have her change her religion. My brother Seye wouldn’t agree with us. He found a Buddhist and was ready to go all out with the marriage without any delays.
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A few months after, Petra and Seye got married. None of us attended their wedding, not even a single soul from our extended family attended their wedding. They went ahead with the wedding anyway. He didn’t care. Our absence didn’t bother his conscience. He had already arranged for our absence. According to sources, he brought some strangers to pose as his family members. They were three people. I mean who does that? And to think that the lady’s family also didn’t care to approach our family makes the whole thing a lot worrying.
Seye has attended a few family gatherings since then, but without Petra, his wife. Our relationship hasn’t been the same since. People have asked that we forgive him, but, it’s just so hard to move past his disrespect, especially to my mother. She is shattered by my brother’s behavior. I am too. I’m still struggling to come to terms with the fact that, he chose a stranger over us, his family. After all that we’ve been through together.
I am still in shock and denial. It feels like a story. A story I have no role to play. But the sad thing is, this is my story. A story of my family—my brother and a mother who toiled to make everything right for us. Seye disregarded her. He thinks love is all that there is to life. I hope he realizes there’s family too.
–Gwen
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My dear Gwen, I think at this Era of the world we have grown past sentiments of religion. What is the meaning of religion. What makes you think Christianity is the best. If Christianity was the best then why do we see all these bad lifestyle when they are majority. Should we question the conduct of some pastors. I wish you could take time to at least learn about Buddhism. Is a religion of peace, harmony and happiness. The ultimate goal of Buddhism is to bring peace into this world as such respect for human life or life in its entirity. Even though your brother did not seek consent or approval let’s not descriminate because of religion. Am a Buddhist to, a lawyer and a Medical Dr as swell. But I see all sphere of patients and clients without descrimination. Life first and together we build a better world through harmony.
If you truly love someone, you do so unconditionally. As a commited Christian you must be familiar with Roman’s 5:8. You cannot hate Petra because she is a Buddhist! That is unchristian. If Christ fulfilled the ultimate sacrifice to reconcile you to himself, then you can only be reconciled to Christ when you reconcile not only with your brother but most importantly Petra. May we all be guided by his word and not by our own sentiments. God bless!
You guys are not serious! If your brother is happy, you have to be happy for him too. No Christian doctrine supports your stand. This is discrimination against other religions. It’s unacceptable.
From the story I thought that the most important thing was that your brother was in love and that he was happy. I also wondered whether when you buy food, clothes, furniture and other items from the shops you check if they were made by Christians? Let love lead. Forgive your brother.
There are many people who are married to people because their parents liked those people but later are not happy in the relationship. True your loved ones might have your interest at heart, but is it towards your own happiness? One day your parents will be no more and you’d be living a life of their own dictation. Will it make you happy/fulfilled? What about your own dreams and aspirations? Does your own life matter? Can’t you be trusted to make good and reasonable choices? Your brother is happy, that is the most important thing. Whoever he chooses to make his home with is solely his choice. He’s a grown up. Allow him to choose his own battles. I don’t know how religion preaches love and peace but becomes one of the biggest barrier to human connection.