We were four friends. Efya, Diana, Mira, and myself. Our friendship started when we were in school. I met Mira first. She had the kind of vibe I wanted in a girlfriend. We got closer as the semester went by. By the time we realized, we were so tight air couldn’t have the luxury to pass between us. We did everything together: Talk about parties. Talk about shopping. Talk about finding boyfriends together. Talk about having heartbreaks together. We experienced joy and experienced pain. It got to a point where the two of us came to have the same story. I was jilted on Monday. I ran to her and cried. On Tuesday, she caught her boyfriend cheating. She ran to me and we cried together. Our friendship was sealed by our individual stories.
Along the line, we found Diana. Diana attended the same school with Mira. They were in the same senior high school. They shared a dormitory together and sat next to each other in school. It was natural for them to continue their friendship when they met at the university. That was how we welcomed Diana into our squad. Diana had already made a friend. A friend she did Eveythignn with. That is Efya. When Diana walked into our friendship, she came along with Efya. When all was said and done we looked behind us and asked each other, “Is anyone coming in again?” We shook our heads and locked the gate of our friendship.
No one was allowed to be part of our group. It’s not something we decided consciously but it was hard finding another soul like us who’ll just walk in and gel with us. We all loved the same thing; We loved to dress and loved to party. We loved to go to church too. Efya was a choir girl. She had the voice and had the soul to sing with the angels. She found joy in the church so every Sunday was special for her. Because of her, we also developed a taste for the things of the church. We went together every Sunday. We danced together. We gave her fans each time she held the mic.
That’s how it had been for the past eight years. Friends who had grown to become more than friends. A clan without a totem. We looked unbreakable because all we had for each other was love and care.
I fell in love with Ohene some years ago. I don’t know exactly the date it happened but if I should ask any of the girls where and when I accepted Ohene’s proposal, all of them will know the answer. We met at my aunt’s funeral. I was serving the food. Each time I passed by, he called and asked for something I didn’t have. Later he asked for my number and I gave it to him. We talked that day. We met often and he proposed. When he proposed I told my girls. I took the proposal to a board meeting for them to judge if he qualified to be a boyfriend. They all said yes. It was Mira who said, “He doesn’t live in Ghana. I’m scared there might be someone at where he lives.” We all screamed, “Yeah that’s possible.”
But I assured them I will investigate very well before I go all in. The day I accepted his proposal, he was at the airport going back to the UK. It was intentional. It was an advice my friends gave me. It came from Diana. She said, “He might leave very soon so don’t accept his proposal just yet. If you accept, he may try to get the cookie and that would be too soon. Wait until he leaves. If he loves you that much, he’ll have the patience to wait and build something with you before the two of you get the taste of each other.”
The following year, he came. He came during Xmas. He met my friends once and he fell in love with the vibe. So on weekends, he’ll drive all of us out somewhere and chill together. He loved dancing and we loved dancing too. Whenever we went out to chill, my girls surrounded us while we danced together. There was no place we couldn’t travel for fun. There was nothing we couldn’t do for fun. Soon, Ohene became part of our group. The only man who loved to be among girls.
Two years later when he came back, he met my family to make things official. I met his family too. They asked when the marriage would happen. He said, “Soon. Maybe on my next return.” This year he came back. He came with most of the things we planned to get for our marriage. According to him, he would take a long break from work later in the year and come back for the wedding. It was Xmas as usual so the friends came together for the chilling. But this year, something wasn’t right. Anytime we planned to go out, Mira opted out. She gave a lot of odd excuses just to be away from us. It’s either she was traveling to see her mother or she was not feeling well.
Without her, we felt incomplete so I kept asking what the issue was. She said, “I just don’t feel like it. We are growing. We need to think of growth and allow you and Ohene some space to have your privacy.” I said, “But he’s not complaining? And I’m not complaining too so what’s the issue?” She didn’t explain any further.
On the eve of Xmas, Ohene traveled to see his parents. I went to church with Mira. Along the way she asked me, “Where is Ohene?” I said, “Travelled. I told you, didn’t I?” She gave a subtle smile. She said, “Efya is also traveled, do you know that?” I said, “Yeah she told me about it.” She smiled again. She said, “Open your eyes. You’re always wearing dark shades on your eyes, how would you see what’s going on right before your very eyes?”
I stood still while she kept going. I asked, “What are you implying?” She answered, “Efya traveled with Ohene. I’m telling you this on authority. Do you see that I’ve withdrawn lately from you guys? That’s the reason. I know what’s going on and I can’t pretend to like it any longer.”
When Ohene returned I played it cool. We went out again and I took Efya’s phone to record a video. I sneaked to the washroom with it and went through her messages. Everything was there live and colored. She was sleeping with Ohene. They traveled together. I went through the messages between her and Mira too. So Mira had known about it for a very long time. They quarreled about it but Efya denied it and rather said it was Diana who was going out with Ohene. Diana became a suspect. I left that work to Mira to investigate for me. She sent me the screenshots. Ohene was ‘eating’ Diana too on the side but it looked like it was Efya who was really invested in the relationship.
Only God knows the kind of pain I went through this Xmas. I stayed with Mira and cried on her shoulder like we used to. I blamed her for not telling me earlier. I called her a bad friend but she had her reason for not telling me earlier. She wanted to be very sure about it. I asked her, “Where do we start from?” She said, “It depends on whether or not you still want the relationship.” I said, “You think I will want to have a future with a man like that? I thought you knew me.” Then she said, “If that’s the case, then let’s attack from all angles. No mercy.”
READ ALSO: She’s The Reason Why Anytime I Hear ‘Berlinda’, I Look Over My Shoulders
So we went to Efya’s place. She saw the faces and mood and realized something was wrong. Just two questions and she was shivering: “What did I do wrong to deserve this?” You thought you could cheat this close and still stay hidden?” It sounds very cool the way I’ve written it but it wasn’t cool. I looked like I was ready to attack. She was shaking. She threw herself into her chair with her hands covering her face. She couldn’t say a word to defend herself. She burst into apology.”
Diana couldn’t look at me in the eyes when I confronted her. I asked her the same questions but she had no answers. She sat there and cried as she watched me crying too.
Ohene’s explanation was the most shocking. He said, “They seduced me. You know I’m a man. It’s not easy not to fall for such things. I tried but they kept coming. Please don’t allow this to destroy us.” As he was talking I could imagine the devil taking his seat. He sat down with his legs crossed and while holding a glass of wine in his right hand. He called one of his guys and said, “Look at that man, he’s going to blame me for all his mistakes. Just watch him.” Ohene said, “We’ve come very far. We shouldn’t allow the devil to destroy us. These your friends are the devils”
The devil took a sip of wine from his glass and said, “It’s always me. Meanwhile, the only sin I committed was to fight God for his throne, I never committed any sexual sins anywhere, yet they blame all fornication and adultery on me. Humans!”
One afternoon, I sent everything he bought for our ‘marriage’ back to him and told him never to look for me again. He took the things before telling me, “You don’t have to go this far. Let’s talk it over. We can resolve this.”
That’s how my Xmas got destroyed even before it started. As I write this, I don’t know whether he’s still in town or he’s gone. I don’t care but sometimes I wonder if he was really into me or I was just the girl he used to while away time whenever he was in Ghana. Everything he said. The plan about marriage. The things he bought. The promises. All could be a facade. A mask to cover his real intentions. But I know I will heal someday and when I heal, there would be no more friends in my life.
–Kate
Do you have any relationship experience to share? Email it to [email protected]
NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG
Don’t worry
Things will be better soon
Karma is always available when least expected. Stay strong
Oh you should have looked for a remorseful apology, forgive him him and build a stronger marriage