Seven months ago, she said yes to me. It wasn’t easy for me to get that yes. It took her two months and numerous rules for her to finally say yes to me. When the yes finally came, I asked her, “Where do we go from here?” She said, “The rules still remain. no sex until I’m sure about us. No touching. No coercing. Don’t force it until I’m ready.” Our beginning was built on rules so it didn’t bother me. I was only determined to love her the right way right from the start.

Two weeks later, she sent me a relationship request on Facebook that the two of us were married. I didn’t accept it. She called to inform me to accept. I said, “We are not married so why should we lie about it.” She said, “It’s just fun. I want to know how people will react. I want to read people’s comments and laugh.” I didn’t see anything funny about it so I didn’t accept. Anytime she called me, it was about that pending request. “You don’t want to accept because you have another girlfriend on Facebook, right?” “No I don’t have any other girlfriend but it isn’t right for us to play pranks with our relationship status,” I responded 

She visited one afternoon. She asked for my phone and I gave it to her. Minutes later I started receiving notifications. I checked. People were commenting on my marital status, sending congratulations, and thanking God for something that wasn’t true. Honestly, I was angry. “Why would you do that?” She started laughing. I screamed, “Don’t laugh. It’s not funny.” She started crying. She started playing the victim, calling me inconsiderate; “You scream on me because of something this small? If I can’t play with you, then what are we?” She stormed out of my house and didn’t pick my calls for three days.

I had to call her and apologize on different occasions before she finally accepted to come around. She came with another rule; “If you ever scream on me again, it’s over. Don’t even call or come around to apologize. It’s over from that moment you raise your voice against me.” I said, “Yes madam.”  

I posted a photo on Facebook and a lady I grew up with loved the photo and commented, “You’re looking cute, dear.” I saw her comment on my notification but was too busy to go and respond. During lunch hour, I checked the photo and I had over three hundred comments. It never happened that I will post a photo and get even twenty comments so what was happening? I went through the comments and it was ‘vawulence’ all over the place. My girlfriend had commented under that old friend’s comment, asking her “Who are you to call him dear? Why would you call somebody’s boyfriend dear? You’re on social media throwing empty words around. Go and look for your own and call him dear.” I deleted the photo.

I called her on phone. I asked, “Hey, how old are you again?” She screamed, “What sort of silly question is that? What has my age got to do with it?” I said calmly, “What you did on Facebook was uncalled for. I wouldn’t in a million years expect such a thing from a girl your age. What was that for?” She countered, “I see why you didn’t want to accept the relationship request. It’s because of girls like that. For your information, I went through her profile. She’s even ugly. Anytime you post something she’ll react with a heart and comment silly things on it. I won’t allow it.”

Our relationship was only five months old but I was already tired. I said, “You know what? This thing can’t work. It’s better we leave it here.” “What are you saying?” She asked. I answered, “I’m saying it’s over between us. We can’t go on like that. It’s just six months but look at us.” Hours later, she was in my house, crying and begging. She was virtually on her knees apologizing to me. “Trust me, it won’t happen again. I’m just scared that someone might take you away from me. Forgive me. I’m sorry I outstep my boundaries. It won’t happen again.” 

She’s the kind of girl who believes what words can’t solve, tears can be used to solve it. So every little thing calls for tears but don’t be deceived, she’s not a weakling. She only does that just to get your attention. I made my first rule that day, “The next time it happens, we are over. I won’t think twice about it, trust me.” She said, “It won’t happen again, trust me.”

“Give me one of your room keys,” She said. “Why should I?” I asked. She answered, “Ain’t you my boyfriend? I would want to come here and relax anytime I want to. When you travel and I miss you, I can come around here and live like I’m with you.” I said, “Honestly, I don’t remember where I put the spare keys. I will look for them and give you one. Give me some time.” The next day she asked for the keys. Days later she asked again. Whenever she called, she asked for the keys. I gave it to her. I was sleeping one night when I heard someone trying to open my door. In fact, I got scared. It was around 12am. I asked, “Who’s that?” No answer. The person kept turning the key. I had my own stuck at the back so it was difficult for the other key to also go in. I kept asking but no answer. 

I called her phone and I heard it ringing. I mentioned her name and she answered. Her mission? She came to check on me if I was safe. I asked, ”Are you a guardian angel? Who gave you that job? And why would you take such a risk, walk through the night and come here? What if someone did something to you?” She said, “What risk won’t I take for you. You see I love you?”

Something about the way she thinks isn’t right. I started questioning her mental stability but she kept telling me that everything was fine. I’ve asked her friends and the few relatives I know about her mental stability and they all laughed. They were surprised I was asking that question. They all said she was fine and had never had issues with her mental health. 

And this was the last straw that broke the camel’s back. She called one night and I was on the phone with someone so I didn’t pick. She kept calling but I was determined to finish talking to the person before I pick her call. When I finished and I called back, she didn’t pick. The next minute she was in my room screaming, “Who was that? Why would you choose her over me? Is she so important that you couldn’t hang up when I was calling you?” She threw her phone at me and I dodged. I wish I didn’t dodge. The phone went straight into my TV, causing a crack in the screen right through the middle. She buried her mouth in her cupped palm. She started crying, “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry please don’t hurt me. I beg you.”

READ ALSO: “There’s No Rest,” Says The Lord, “For The Wicked”

I went back to bed and she sat on the sofa crying until the next morning. I told her it was alright and I forgive her. When she went away, I sent her a message that it’s over. Since then, I haven’t had peace in my life. I came from work one day and she was in my room, lying on my bed waiting for me. One evening, she came around trying to open the door. When she couldn’t, she stayed behind there knocking at the door until my neighbor came out and ask what she wanted. I changed the locks to my door. The Next time when she came, she fetched gravels and started throwing them on my roof. It was a Saturday evening. My neighbor asked, “Where did you pick this one from?”

Days ago she sent me a message, “If you don’t come back into my life, I would end it and I hope that will make you happy.” So far, I haven’t heard her funeral announcement so I believe she’s not dead yet. I’ve told her family to seek medical care for her but they think she’s alright. I don’t know what her next move will be but I know she hasn’t finished with me yet. I have a few months left on my rent. When push comes to shove, I will find a new accommodation elsewhere and begin again from a fresh slate.

–J.B 

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Email it to [email protected]

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG