f you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one
One day she sent me a message. She said, “He’s traveling with me next week.” I asked, “Where to and why is he going with you?” She said, “He hasn’t said where we are going and he hasn’t said why but I think we’ll be traveling outside because he asked for my passport.” I asked her, “Does that make you happy?” She said, “I’m indifferent. I don’t know why he’s traveling with me and I don’t know where. This isn’t the first time though. The only thing is, he’ll travel with me and leave me there while he goes around doing his own thing.”
I wish I could tell her not to go but every sideman has his limit. I said, ”Just be careful.”
“Are you missing me already?”
“You know I miss you every day.”
“Don’t worry, I will be back before you know it.”
That week, we tried to meet on several occasions but she called at the eleventh hour and canceled it. It’s either her husband had sent her to do something or her husband was visiting a place with her. I started getting nervous and anxious. For a very long time, they hadn’t fought. My relevance in her life was dependent on how bad things go in their marriage. Things were moving smoothly. She even called once to sing the praises of her husband. She said, “What has come over this man? Now he comes home early. He tries to talk to me every now and then. He puts me in his embrace when we sleep at night. What has he seen?”
If there was any justice in the world, I should have been happy for her. She spoke about her husband with laughter in her voice. Something she hasn’t done ever since we met. Instead of happiness, I was filled with jealousy. All I said was, “He has realized you’re happy without him so he’s trying to tap into your happiness. Don’t mind him.” She said, “I don’t even care. It’s not the same when he holds me. It’s not the same when he looks at me. Nothing is the same.”
My relevance meter shot up immediately.
It’s hard to be someone’s second choice. It’s harder when you’re the second choice and you know it. Her calls started dwindling. She wasn’t picking my calls too and she only returned them when she was free. A day before they left the country she said, “Wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, please stop and run over here immediately.” I had nothing doing that was more important than seeing her, so I picked up my shirt and started off to see her. I was close. Just a few minutes away from her when she called me, “He’s here, abort mission.” I read the message several times before I came to terms with the disappointment. I asked, “Is he not leaving any time soon?” The response to that message came in the evening. She said, “It’s unfortunate I’m not able to see you before leaving. It’s only for a few weeks. I’ll be back very soon and I promise I will reserve all my best for you.”
One week later, I didn’t hear from her. I sent her messages every day. I wanted to know what was happening. All my messages went unanswered. I started getting worried. “What is happening to this girl? Where did the man take her to that I can’t reach her on the phone?” I heard from her on the eighth day. She said, “I’m fine. Stop worrying about me.” I sent one back, “Are you sure? So why don’t you talk to me? Why don’t you answer my messages?” Cricket.
Five days later, she sent another message. She said, “There are a lot of things going on. Wait till I come so we talk about it.” Anyway, he asked about you.” I responded, “He asked about me? How? Why? How did I appear in your conversations? Why are you not talking? Has he taken your phone away from you? Cricket.
I started getting frustrated. Not hearing from her was already frustrating enough. Telling me her husband asked of me without giving me details started driving me crazy. I slept with my phone closer to my ears. Any sound at all, I will wake up and check if it came from Adelaide.
I woke up one morning and saw a message from her. It was written like a telegram; “Tomorrow. Coming.” I answered, “I will be here for you. I miss you.” Again, crickets. By this time, I was used to it so I didn’t get worried. I didn’t hear from her when she came. I didn’t call her too. Two days later she didn’t call. Three days later she didn’t call. I gathered the courage and called her line. She said, “Hey, Sorry I forgot to call you.” I asked, “You forgot? What’s happening? What happened to you?” She said, “He’s around, I will give you a call when he leaves.”
I didn’t get it. “Why is it that he’s always around whenever I call? Is he suspecting her of something?”
Then one afternoon she called me. She said, “He has traveled so we can talk.” I asked gleefully, “Should I come around?”
“No, it’s not needed. We can talk on the phone.”
“I haven’t seen you in a month and you don’t want me around? What’s happening?”
“A lot.”
“Tell me because I’m beginning to be scared of our future.”
“A lot has changed and it’s so drastic I’ve been asking myself a lot of questions. He took me on a holiday so both of us can talk about our marriage. I don’t know what came over him but he’s been good.”
“So what were you talking about that my name came in?”
“The day he met you here, he never talked about it. He didn’t ask who and didn’t ask why. But while on vacation he asked about you and why you came around. Anyway, it’s no longer important. Let’s talk about us.”
I was confused and scared at the same time. I thought he found out about us. I thought he was going to do something to us. After the explanation, I was ok. Then I asked, “So what happens to us now?”
She didn’t mince words. She said, “We can’t go on. His mind is coming home. He might be looking around for something so it’s better we let go. We can be friends and nothing else.” I said, “That’s alright. Take care.”
When I cut the call, I knew it was the end. It hurt but there was no reason to fight. I took off the ring, blocked her line, and decided to move on with my life. All these happened in June. If she tried to call me, I wouldn’t know because I had blocked her line. But in September, she sent me a message on Messenger. She said, “I thought we were going to remain friends so why did you decide to stay away? Anyway, let’s meet. I have good news for you.”
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I asked myself, “What could be the good news? Anyway, I’m not interested.” I blocked her on messenger too. She called with another line. She said she was sorry and didn’t know what came over her. “If I hurt you, forgive me. I don’t want us to be enemies, please.” I asked, “What can I do for you?” She answered, “You know. Stop hurting me.” I said my goodbye and cut the line. I blocked that line too. Since then, she hadn’t called again. But through it all I learned two things;
#1. Don’t date unhappy people, especially when they still live with whatever is making them unhappy.
#2. No matter what, don’t be anybody’s second choice.
Let me add a third one. You can’t fall in love with someone’s property. No matter how long you keep it in your possession, it will never be yours until it’s given to you freely. I’m still single but looking for what is mine so I can pour all the love I have inside of my heart into it and see how it goes.
–Albert
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