Since my girlfriend left me about two years ago, my life has become sad, messy, and terrible. I have tried so hard to forget about her, but nothing seems to be working. What do I do? How can I finally get over this woman? I have tried everything I can think of, but I still can’t seem to let her go.
We started dating in 2022, around the time I lost my grandfather. On the very same day of his funeral, we received a call that my mother’s shop was on fire. The funeral had already taken a toll on our finances, and now we had to deal with the loss of my mother’s shop.
I was caught between making sure my mother didn’t lose herself to grief and making sure no one saw my tears, either. In the midst of everything, I neglected my girlfriend. I was too busy dealing with the situation at home to pay attention to matters of the heart.
On top of that, I was working while furthering my education and preparing for mid-semester examinations, presentations, and other exams. As a result, we stopped talking every day. Whenever we spoke, our conversations were usually brief. When she complained about it, I promised to do better. I still tried to be a good boyfriend, but I knew I wasn’t giving the relationship my best, and my best might not have been enough.
With time, things got better for my mother, too. I had also finished my examinations, and I was finally ready and had enough time to give my girlfriend the attention she deserved.
That night, after my exams, I sent her a lengthy message at midnight, telling her how much I missed the way things used to be between us and how much I wanted us to rekindle what we had because I genuinely loved her. To my surprise, she ignored the entire message and only replied, “Good morning.”
I asked, “Have I done anything wrong?”
“No,” she replied.
“Then, are you going through anything you want to talk about?”
She said no. She only gave me straightforward answers, and all my attempts to get her to open up to me proved futile.
This went on for weeks, and I became frustrated. I eventually suggested that we go our separate ways, and disappointingly, she jumped at the idea. A few days later, I called her, but she didn’t pick up.
I visited her house, but she sent me away, using her grandmother as an excuse. That day, she said her grandmother didn’t look happy to see me, so I had to leave. In the months that followed, she ignored my calls, and the situation really messed me up. She was the woman I wanted to marry.
I won’t sit here and pretend I haven’t met amazing ladies. I have. Some were even understanding enough to agree to be placeholders while I tried to forget my ex. But I couldn’t bring myself to love them. All I did was sleep with them and walk away.
One day, I called her, and she picked up. That was when I finally got some closure. She told me she hated the distance I had created between us when I was going through a difficult time. I hadn’t let her in and had kept her at arm’s length. “He was always talking to me and giving me what you were refusing to give me. It was just a matter of time before I went to him for the things you were refusing to give me,” she said. She had left me for a new colleague at her workplace. That was also why she started ignoring me when I was finally giving her the attention she had wanted.
We said that we were going to be friends now that we’ve had our closure. That is how one day, she passed by my place to visit, and we ended up in bed together. That one encounter has made it even more difficult for me to forget her. I have tried so hard to move on, but nothing is working. She is a teacher and offers private tuition to some children in my neighbourhood. Sometimes, when we meet, I escort her home. I also call her once in a while, but she mostly ignores my calls.
When A Man Cheats And Doesn’t Disrespect You, It Should Be OK
It has been two years since we broke up, and I have been with different women in an attempt to forget her, but I still can’t move on.
Even last year, I asked a female colleague who lives in the same neighbourhood as my ex to speak to her and convince her to take me back, but she refused. I am also a teacher, so there are days when I happen to see her passing by my workplace. Whenever that happens, my heart starts beating so fast. What do I do to forget this woman? I really need to move on with my life.
—Philip
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