My husband and I combined money to buy a piece of land. I paid 40% of the price, and he paid 60%. We were both excited because owning a house had been one of our biggest dreams since we got married.

After buying the land,  I discussed it with my husband, and we agreed that I should take a loan of GH₵50,000 to help us begin construction. I work with a financial institution, so I had access to loans at relatively low interest rates.

I secured the loan, and we started working. Within a few months, we had made some progress. Anytime we visited the site, my husband would stand somewhere and tell me what he wanted us to do next. Sometimes, we took the children along. They would run around the compound, and we would show them where their bedrooms would be.

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When the GH₵50,000 was exhausted, I sat my husband down and explained that I couldn’t afford to take another loan. I was already repaying the first one through deductions from my salary. I suggested that he take over the construction while I handled our household expenses.

We agreed that he would invest his income in the building while I paid for almost everything at home. The only responsibility he would continue handling was the children’s school fees. I took care of rent, food, electricity, water, household supplies, and other domestic expenses. Sometimes, when something unexpected came up, I had to find the money myself.

I didn’t complain. I believed we were sharing responsibilities according to what we had agreed. If I could keep the house running, my husband would have enough money to complete our building.

The first year passed, and nothing happened at the site. Whenever I asked about it, he said he was saving money to do something substantial instead of buying materials in bits.

The second year came, and the building was still at the same stage.

I started getting worried. Sometimes, I would suggest that we buy a few bags of cement or do some work, even if we couldn’t afford to complete everything at once. He would tell me to be patient.

By the third year, my patience was running out. The building was still standing exactly where we had left it. Weeds had grown around the compound, and some of the blocks were beginning to deteriorate.

One Saturday, I went there alone. I stood in what was supposed to become our living room and looked around. Three years earlier, I had stood in that same spot imagining where our furniture would be arranged. Now I was looking at unfinished walls and wondering when we would ever move in.

I returned home and told my husband I was tired of waiting. He said I should give him a little more time, but a few months later, he came home with a new car. I asked how he had managed to buy a car when we were struggling to complete our building. He laughed and told me his company had bought it for him. He explained that it was part of a benefit from his workplace.

I was happy for him. I even congratulated him and told him it was a sign of God’s blessings.

For the next two years, the car became my husband’s priority. He would rather buy a new steering cover for the car than buy food for the house. I still didn’t complain.

A few weeks ago, a woman whose house is close to our land called me. She said there were people on the land discussing how to sell it. Initially, I thought she was making a mistake. She said I should come with my husband as soon as possible because maybe the land had also been sold to different people. I responded, “How is that possible when we have a building sitting on it?”

When my husband came home, he looked like he had been beaten. I didn’t care about the way he looked. I gave him the news the woman had told me. He answered, “Hmmm, it’s a long story. You’ll be angry when I tell you, but I will understand.”

Unbeknownst to me, my husband had taken a loan to buy the car. The same car he told me his company had bought for him. He used our land title documents as security for the loan. And now, because he had failed to keep up with the repayments, the lender was threatening to sell the property to recover the money.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I started hitting his chest and asking why he would do such a thing when the two of us already had a beautiful plan.

I told him, “We’ve been paying rent while our building has been abandoned for five years. I’ve been handling household expenses because you said you were investing your money in the house. You took a loan with our land documents to buy yourself a car?”

That night, I couldn’t sleep. For years, I paid almost all our household expenses. Sometimes, I had very little money left after my loan deductions and domestic responsibilities. Hmmm.

I asked what he was going to do about the situation, and he said we should find a way to settle the loan before they took further action. I asked where he expected us to get the money. He responded, “Can’t you secure another loan through your workplace?”

I lost it. I gave it to him like he was my child. I didn’t hold back. All the anger and pent-up feelings I’d been harbouring over the years came to the fore.

He said we were married and should solve our problems together. I reminded him that we were also married when he took the loan without telling me. We were married when he lied about the car. And we were married during the five years I was waiting for him to continue building our house. “Why didn’t you remember that we were partners when you were making those decisions?”

I’ve told him to sell the car and use whatever money he gets to repay the debt. He says he might not be able to sell the car fast enough, but I know that’s not the reason. He just wants to eat his cake and still have it.

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Sometimes, I look at him and wonder what he has been doing with his money all these years. If he wasn’t investing in our building, where was the money going?

These days, all we do is fight. I wake up in the morning, and the first thing I ask is, “Did you pay the loan yesterday?”

He says I should stop reminding him of his mistakes and concentrate on finding a solution. He’s asking me to help repay the loan so we don’t lose everything, but I know that if I take another loan, I will be left to repay it all by myself. He may say he will contribute or even agree with me to sell the car, but once this problem is over, I know he won’t do any of the things he has promised.

A house can be rebuilt. Money can be earned again. Even debt can eventually be paid but how do I rebuild trust in a man who was willing to risk our family’s future for a car he couldn’t afford?

—Jessica 

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