I was one of those people who wanted to find love at the university and get married to the same woman by all means. Someone told me that finding love when you were working and making money was hard, so I should try to find love at the university. At the fellowship I used to attend during my school days, they would organise programmes on Valentine’s Day. When the speakers came, they talked about how their spouses were people they had met at the university. Some were even friends before they took things further. That further strengthened my urge to start looking around for a woman to date.
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There was this girl, Precious. She was my coursemate, and we got closer because of a project. I did almost all the work, while she brought snacks. After we presented the work and were scored the highest in the whole class, she prepared a feast for me. After that project, we had no business talking to each other again, but I went after her, and we started what they now call the talking stage. We eventually started dating.
Her ex was pestering her, and she told me about it. I asked her to block him. She said she would, but she didn’t. My friends knew we were dating, so when they started seeing her and her ex together, they would come and laugh at me. I was very jealous.
The truth is, in an ideal world, she shouldn’t have been dating me. She came from old money, while I came from a comfortable family. I wanted to have a rich woman for a wife, so I turned a blind eye to it. I knew they were still talking and visiting each other. The guy even had a car on campus, and I used to see her in it. I would be walking briskly to class, not wanting to miss seeing it.
I really lost my self-esteem during that period. Whatever happened, I just woke up one day and decided that I deserved better, so I calmly left the scene. She didn’t break up with me, and I didn’t break up with her. We just left it at that.
Then I met Adzo. I didn’t have much to give her. But Adzo lit up rooms when she walked in, and she was self-aware of that. Everyone in my department wanted to be with her, even the lecturers, especially the big, big men. So I was glad when Adzo chose me. We were good and had a good thing going on until I started noticing a pattern of lies. It was always a source of constant fights between us.
I couldn’t get a job after my national service, so I was always at home. I started driving Uber. The car belonged to my brother-in-law, but it was in bad condition. It consumed a lot of fuel, and at the end of the day, I got nothing.
While I was slaving away trying to make ends meet, Adzo, who was also unemployed and at home, would make video calls and show herself to men in her DMs who asked her to do so. That was how she also was making her ends meet, and it didn’t sit well with me. She didn’t want to agree to break up with me. It only took the grace of God for that girl to finally leave me.
I met another girl. She was a virgin, very young and naive, and, truth be told, I decided to bank on that and marry her. But someone beat me to it. He took her virginity. I saw it as an opportunity to groom and nurture her into a woman I would be proud to call my wife. I didn’t touch her, but someone else did and it pained me I wouldn’t lie. I was the one supporting her in every possible way available.
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I was unemployed, single to stupor, my friends were getting married and doing better than me. I went to church one Sunday, and the pastor said something: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.”
When I did, my life turned around miraculously. I never even imagined I would find a woman I would settle down with, but I did. I found Adwoa, a virgin at the age of thirty-two, and we got married. We are now settled abroad, and our love story is still being written.
—Nartey
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