I don’t know if the right word to use is fortunate, but yes, I am a single mother, and I am lucky to have a boyfriend who loves both me and my child in all the right ways. He talks a lot about our future.

I am a fashion designer, running a little business on the side, and a student too. I wear all these crowns while single-handedly taking care of my child.

READ ALSO:  I Want My Boyfriend Back After Accusing Him of Cheating. How Do I Get Him Back?

My boyfriend works and earns more than a decent salary. He dresses sharply and always smells good. That is why I am confused about some of the things he is doing. Everything he says about the future contradicts what he is doing. We often hear that we should not ignore the signs; otherwise, we will see wonders. In the next two years or so, I do not want to see wonders. That is why I am bothered.

“So, when do you suggest I come and see your parents?” “My mom wants to meet you.” He says all these things but is very stingy with his faith.

One day, we were chatting when I mentioned how good God is. I was taken aback when he asked, “Is God really good?” When I asked him why, he said something flimsy about how Christians take God too seriously. “But you go to church; is that what they tell you?” He just chuckled and said, “Ah, you paa, if not for my pastors and cell leaders kraa, what would I do there?”

He has personal issues with the way Christians behave. He believes that life is not as spiritual as we make it seem. And my life with him flashed before my eyes. I am not a saint, but over the years, I have grown closer to God, and I have a fair idea of how I want my home to be run. Morning devotions, a husband who prays over the family, and one who anoints his children every now and then.

Then there is also my belief that marriage is a three-stranded cord: you, the husband, and the Holy Spirit. It can only work with God in between. He has his own beliefs. If both partners are not standing firm, praying together, trusting God, and believing through challenges, it is easy to watch the marriage fall apart. I desire a marriage where we can pray together, accept situations with faith, and overcome issues as a team, not one where one person carries the faith or where blame is constantly shifted. I believe that one person alone cannot sustain a marriage. I don’t want to be the only one trusting God and believing for better days while my partner doubts everything.

The other thing that rubs me the wrong way throughout this relationship is the fact that he has never supported me financially. Not even once. He visits me empty-handed and leaves without offering a single penny. Sometimes, he gives me 50 Ghana cedis. He barely comes home bearing gifts for my daughter but leaves with a full stomach.

Sometimes, I share with him my plans and how I could be struggling to make ends meet with a particular project, and all he does is keep quiet. He hasn’t offered to help me in any way. He doesn’t even ask the question, “How can I help?” That would have at least given me the chance to say, “It’s alright, babe; I’ve got this.”

I believe that sometimes, you don’t have to do so much for the person you love. Just the thought alone is everything. That’s what I have been expecting from my man, but so far, I have seen nothing.

Then there are moments when he promises to help, but when the day comes, he fails to do so. He doesn’t offer an apology or an explanation; we just call it a day and move on. This has happened about three times now.

I know he is a good man. Apart from his stinginess, I honestly have no complaints.

So far, I only have one theory about this. Part of me feels that maybe he doesn’t want to spend because we’re not married yet, but what if it continues after marriage? I’ve also learned that men usually spend on those they cherish, and this has made me question whether this relationship is worth fighting for.

I am expecting a man who thinks I am a good fit to be his wife to step up and help when it comes to monetary issues.

What Caused The Breakup Between You And Your Ex?

I expect the man I may marry to be the kind of man who does not ask for his balance when I return from the market. I am scared that if we marry, he might leave all the responsibilities to me. The married women here, are my concerns valid? Is it possible that his behaviour will change once we are married? I want to understand if his behaviour is a red flag.

—Philomina

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>