I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for three years now. Three years of patience, love, kindness, and endurance.

Over the years, we have had issues, settled them, broken up, and reconciled. I am not saying he is a bad person, but there is one particular habit of his that I honestly don’t think I can handle anymore. Whenever he does something hurtful, he comes back later and claims he was only testing me to see how I would react.

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My boyfriend has a habit of taking my belongings whenever we have problems.

There was a time he cheated on me. He is the man who somehow helped make me the woman I am today, and I will always be grateful to him for that. But that didn’t mean I would tolerate foul behavior from him. I knew this in my heart.

When I caught him cheating, he begged me to forgive him. I believe that cheating is not something that happens by accident. You do it intentionally, so forgiveness was not something I was willing to consider in that moment, and I made my feelings very clear to him.

That day, I left the house and went to stay at my brother’s place because I couldn’t bear to be in the same space with him. He was at my house when we had the conversation and he refused to leave. Since I couldn’t stand being around him, I decided to leave instead.

When I returned home, he was gone, but he had taken some of my belongings with him. He took the vegetables I had left in my fridge. My laptop bag was missing, and so was my body cream.

When I asked him where my things were, he said he took them as gifts.

“What belongings? They are mine now,” he said. According to him, they were his goodbye gifts.

Somehow, we reconciled. We talked about what happened, and he told me he was only trying to test me to see how I would react.

Yesterday, we had another issue. It was late at night, and he insisted that he was going to leave. I told him that was fine, but he didn’t have money for transportation from my place to his. His plan was to return to his office and sleep there rather than stay at my place.

I told him, “Okay, that’s no problem.”

I didn’t try to stop him because storming off is what he normally does whenever we have problems. I also didn’t give him money for transportation, so he went outside and asked my neighbors to help him with some money.

He couldn’t get any because they were all asleep. So he returned with his hands between his thighs, sat down, and started calling his friends to ask for money while insulting me at the same time.

Things got worse when he tried to take my phone. I refused to give it to him because I knew he would take it with him, even though he wasn’t the one who bought it for me.

He became so aggressive that he started dragging me around the house. I was in tears, but he continued dragging me while screaming at me and calling me names: “You dimwit! You are nothing without me! You witch! You are stingy!”

I thought that if I kept quiet, he would eventually stop, but he didn’t. He even went as far as saying that I had never helped him with anything in my life.

I have been a supportive girlfriend. Whenever he is down, I do my best to lift him up. Even when I am struggling myself, I put my own needs aside to attend to his. That is how much I have supported him throughout our relationship, yet this is how he is repaying me.

This morning, I asked for a breakup, and he agreed.

Now, he is asking me to refund all the money he has ever spent on me. And guess how much he is demanding? GH₵40,000! That is how much my boyfriend claims to have spent on me over the past three years.

So, I am asking for your honest opinions. What exactly did I do wrong? Especially to the guys reading this: if you were in his shoes, where do you think I went wrong?

Should I give him the money or not?

My boyfriend has always had serious insecurity issues. He believes that my decision to break up with him means I already have another boyfriend. Because of this, he is now telling me to go and ask my new boyfriend for money to refund him.

What Caused The Breakup Between You And Your Ex?

Throughout the three years we have been together, I have never dated anyone else, let alone cheated on him. I am not that kind of person.

Now, he is threatening to cause a nuisance wherever I go if I don’t give him his money.

Guys, what should I do? I genuinely need your honest opinions.

— Helena

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