We lived a very poor life, even though our dad had the resources to take care of us. He just refused to use them for our benefit. A stingy father is one thing, but an abusive one is the worst of them all. My father was both abusive and stingy. I can stand anywhere and say wholeheartedly that my mum married her enemy.

My father could use a spanner to squeeze our mother’s ears and smash her head against things. We would go to bed hungry while he bought kebabs, jollof, banku and tilapia and ate right in front of us. Sometimes, he would even bring his side chick home to beat our mum. If we tried to fight his side chick or help our mum escape, he would beat us up too.

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Growing up, I never saw my dad pay our school fees. My maternal grandparents did that. They fed and clothed us, too. I watched my mum run back to her parents several times, but they would always bring her back because of us.

I remember one time when my dad poured away a whole pot of pork light soup my mum had prepared to sell near an akpeteshie seller. All he said was that my mother would not respect him if she had her own money. He also broke the pots of pito she brewed to sell for the same reason. He even burnt a whole bale of secondhand clothes she wanted to sell.

He would not allow this poor woman to do anything for herself, and whenever she asked him for anything, he beat her up. Our home was placed to live.

When my father lost his job, my mum still followed him to the North, where we come from, and the struggle became even worse. Something seemed to change in him for a while, but it did not last long. As soon as he got his hands on another job, his true colours began to shine brightly again.

At the time, my mum was selling kenkey. Some days, my dad would throw the kenkey away. On other days, he would pour hot kenkey pepper all over her.

My mom tried her best, but SHS is the highest level of education her strength could take us to, and we appreciate her so much for it.

The man I am married to today is truly a Godsend. He has helped me build myself and my life.

When my mum fell sick, my dad went around telling people in the village that she was going to die anyway. He deliberately refused to tell us to take her to the hospital because he did not want to waste money. It was only through a very good friend I made back in my SHS days that I found out my mum had suffered a stroke.

My dad told her not to waste money on our mum when she was hospitalised. Thankfully, my mum spent two months in the hospital and eventually got better.

When they took her back home, my dad actually walked into her room and tried to strangle her while my sister was away. Thank God our youngest sibling rushed in and rescued her.

My mum is now living with my husband and me. She is improving as the days go by.

My father’s family is angry that I have separated the couple and that he is now living alone. However, he is staying with my youngest sibling, so I honestly do not understand what their problem is.

They have even gone around telling people that they are just waiting for the woman to die so they can deal with us. Thank God I informed a few sensible elders in the family beforehand, and they gave me the green light to take my mum away.

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Now, some people in the community are complaining that we have abandoned our father without anyone to care for him. They seem to have forgotten that he receives GH₵1,700 every month as pension to survive on. Some people are even calling us wicked.

Well, as they say, we learned from the best.

— Helen
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