It was love at first sight when we met. She came to class late and came to sit next to me. She didn’t say a word and also didn’t say a word. It was our first day in class so no one knew anyone. All I wanted was her name but I was too shy to ask. Then a teacher came in. He said, “Since today is our first day in class, it’s better we introduce ourselves to each other properly. When you get up, mention your name and your favorite subject.” 

I missed almost all the introduction. I wasn’t listening. I was only waiting for her turn so I get to hear her name. She said, “My name is Elsie. Maths is my favorite subject.” She was the first to have mentioned maths as her favorite so everyone screamed, “Eiiii!” When I got up, I mentioned my name, “I’m Caleb. My favorite subject is maths.” (I hate maths) Again, the whole class screamed. The teacher asked, “Are you two from the same school?” We said, “No.” “Or you know each other from here?” I answered, “We met only today.” 

When it was time for a break, she asked where the canteen was. I said, “I’m going there. We can go together.” We went on break together and came back to class together. She became a friend from that day. Because we were always together, people thought we were dating. My aim was to date her but she was always asking me to join her prayer group. I did join, since it was another opportunity for me to be with her. 

The whole term we were together. I couldn’t propose but every now and then I gave her some signs. She was so into the prayer group thing that I was scared to propose to her. When the term came to an end and we were going home, we exchanged contacts. At home, we were chatting each day until one day I gathered the courage and texted her my feelings. She said, “Don’t let the devil use you. I’m your sister in Christ. Why would you propose to me?” If I had proposed to her in school and she gave me that answer, I would have left it there but I kept going and going until she said, “Ok, I will say yes on condition that nothing will happen between us.” I said, “Trust me, nothing will happen.” 

We went on vacation as friends but came back to school as lovers. We continued attending the prayer sessions of the prayer group. The president always preached against boyfriend-girlfriend relationships but we didn’t listen to him. We kept growing stronger. I faced competition from some of our male teachers but she told me everything. We ended our first year together with the same level of love we started with. Second year was tough. 

We broke up twice in the second year. The second break up nearly killed the relationship for good but I was persistent. I begged her. I opened the sack of my heart and emptied it right before her eyes. I said, “You’re all I have. If you leave me, life wouldn’t be the same for me.” She said, “I’ll pray  about it.”  I got scared. Prayer was the reason she was leaving me. One day after prayer meeting, the preacher said, “If you’re here and you’re in a relationship and fornicating Jesus is here today to save you. Pray for forgiveness and come back to Jesus again.” 

After that prayer, Elsie said she had changed and as such can’t be in a relationship with me again. “We are no longer in a relationship. We can’t fool God.” She said. 

Days before we went on the third term vacation, she came to tell me, “I will continue to be in a relationship with you. After all, I’ll be in a relationship before I marry.” I was the happiest boy on campus that day. On our last night on campus before we departed, we had our first real kiss. First real kiss because all the other kisses we had were digital kisses through emojis. That kiss left a taste in my mouth that I didn’t want to lose. I didn’t brush my teeth the next day and for several days all I could feel was the warmth of her breath. Whenever we chat and she sends the kisses emoji, I remember the taste of her kisses all over again. 

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We are in our third year, learning very hard to complete on a very high note. Our dream is to pass with flying colors so we can meet again at the university. All was well and love was still love until she came to me recently, telling me that it was over. “Elsie, you know you hurt me anytime you do that to me. Why will you say that? What did I do this time?” She said, “I’ve realized we are wasting our time in love when we know very well that this thing we are doing doesn’t have a future. What’s the point if there are no guarantees? How many people do you know that dated from SHS and ended up married? I won’t do it again. This is the final goodbye.” 

“Dear Elsie, we are different. We have different destinies so we can end up married. I love you and I don’t believe anything can change that. Don’t do this to me. I want you in my future and you know the future starts from now.” 

I’ve said everything there’s to say to Elsie but she still says no. This time, her no comes with a certain resolution I’ve never seen in her eyes before. She says No without blinking. Her no comes with conviction and it’s making me scared. I don’t want to lose Elsie. She’s my everything and I’m ready to make things work if only she’ll stop saying no to me and allow us to be in love again. 

I’ve chased her everywhere. When she comes to class she sits far away from me. She’ll be laughing and playing with everyone but immediately she sees my face, she frowns. It’s hurting me. Piece by piece my heart is giving up. I can’t do anything. I can’t learn. I can’t pay attention to teachers when they’re teaching. I’ve lost interest in everything. I can’t even eat. This feeling is harder than every pain I’ve been through. 

What should I tell her to let her know that it’s possible when love is involved? What should I say or do to get my Elsie back? My head is empty. I’ve said everything but she says No. Exam hasn’t started but I see myself failing because of this. She’s hurting me and I wonder how a Christian like her would cause someone to suffer and pretend she doesn’t mind. I need help. Please help me to get my Elsie back. Thank you 

–Caleb

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