I was looking to change jobs when one day my boyfriend told me there was a vacancy where he worked. He works in accounts, but the vacancy was in administration. I asked if he would be able to influence it for me to get the job, and he told me his influence didn’t go that far, but he would see what he could do.

I lost interest because the qualifications they were looking for were beyond me, but he kept asking if I had applied, and I kept saying no. A few days before the deadline, he sat me down and forced me to apply. After applying online, he made a printout and sent it to HR himself. A few days later, I was invited for an interview.

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At the interview, they asked about my relationship with Jason, and I said we were both in the same church. They asked if I had worked with him before on any project at all. I was honest. In church, we worked on committees to plan church programmes and other events. I listed all that and how the relationship had been, and the various successes we chalked up working on those projects.

After the interview, I told him the questions they asked, and he was disappointed that I told them I knew him.

“They’ll disqualify you because of that. It was a trick.”

That didn’t happen. A few weeks later, I was offered the job. A job I didn’t qualify for on paper was given to me on a platter. I thanked him and made everything about him. I even believed him when he said he spoke to the director about me and begged him to give me the role.

When I started the role, it was very challenging, but he was there for me. We also needed to manage our relationship very well so it wouldn’t become very obvious that we were dating. He helped me understand the work culture and advised me on how to deal with everyone around me. After work, he would drive me home or to his place for us to spend the night, depending on which day it was.

Five months later, my immediate boss resigned. She was a relative of the owner of the business, so I treated her like the owner of the business. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for her. Even unofficial errands, I ran for her without complaining.

When she left, her role was added to one of the senior managers while I assisted that senior manager. I was called to a meeting one Monday, one of the usual Monday meetings I helped to put together. Surprisingly, the owner of the business attended that meeting.

During other matters, the owner announced that I should act in that vacant role for three months and then, depending on my output, I would be made the substantive manager.

Right after the meeting, I texted Jason, “You won’t believe what happened. I’m now the acting administrative manager. Director just announced it.”

The feedback I got was very muted. I thought he was even busy. When we met and I was very loud about it, he watched me as though he didn’t know what was going on.

For three months, he pretended he didn’t know my position had changed. The very day it was announced that I had been made the administrative manager and everyone was congratulating me, he looked away.

On our way home, I asked him why he was treating me like an enemy since my elevation. He said, “What do you expect me to do, carry you? Only God knows what you did to get the position. You didn’t even qualify, and now you’re the overall boss? You think I don’t know what’s going on?”

I asked him to park the car. I screamed it and nearly held the steering wheel. I looked into his eyes and asked him to repeat what he had just said, and then he looked away.

I said, “No, say it again. It’s so sweet, I want to hear it again.”

He repeated the sentence and pointed to all the individuals in the office who deserved the position because they had been there longer and had better qualifications.

“But you magically got it, and you think they don’t know what you did.”

I got out of his car and walked to the other side of the road to pick a trotro home. I texted him, “Today is the last day you’ll talk to me. I appreciate what you’ve done for me, but this disrespect goes deeper than every other way you’ve made me feel. Thank you.”

He came to my office the next day to talk about it. I warned him, “This is office hours, and you dare not waste it on personal issues unless you want me to put it on your file.”

“Oh, saaa? Now you’re flexing me. I know who you are ooo, and you know I can unmake you…”

And then he walked out.

I avoided him in every way that I possibly could, at work and then in church, but my heart was still pained. Anytime I saw him, my heart skipped a beat. So I spoke to our pastor about it. I cried while narrating my story.

Our pastor called him, and he made the same argument in a different way, telling our pastor it was the reason he broke up with me, when I was the one who stopped talking to him.

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Our pastor did his best that day and asked us to pray over the rest and reconcile.

We haven’t reconciled.

He goes around telling people he broke up with me because he gave me a job and I slept around to get a promotion so I could lord it over him.

I can hurt him too, and he knows it. But no matter what happens, he’s the one who made it possible for me to be here. I respect that, and I remain grateful. It’s the reason I’ve held back from pressing the destruction button.

I hope he changes his ways. I’m only human. I can’t stay hurt without doing anything about it.

—Caterine

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