I started dating Obeng three and a half years ago. The topic of marriage has been brought up once in a while throughout all these years, but never did we take a step towards it. We spoke about it and added it to the list of things to be talked about.

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But this year, we were more aware of what we had built over the years, so it had been coming up more frequently in our conversations until somewhere in April, when he started becoming distant and wasn’t forthcoming with me. Each time I probed about his attitude, he said he was fine and that we were fine and that he’d return to normal.

Then the issue of marriage took a back seat. I brought it up, and he started stuttering. He doesn’t stutter. When he regained his composure, he said, “I don’t think it’s fair to keep you strung along, so I want us to end things now, and I’m sorry I can’t marry you.”

Some weeks ago, he mentioned that he didn’t want to marry me any longer, but I didn’t pay him any attention because I was writing an exam.

He went on what looked like a date, and I saw it. I was willing to move past it. I was willing to forgive him, so why didn’t he see that but decide to break up with me?

Three years, and I have invested in us. In every one of my plans, I have included him. I changed a thousand things about myself for his sake. Even if he asked me to fit myself into a tiny bottle, I’d have done it.

I feel disappointed. I feel bitter. I don’t feel like I am breathing properly. Life doesn’t make sense all of a sudden. Almost four years, and this is what I get.

Is it really that easy for him to break up with me like that?

Wow.

— Shalom 

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