It all started when we first met in a trotro going to campus. We both alighted at the same place and walked the same path to the campus. I was a little bit lost so I asked him, “I’m going to the school of business block, do you know where it is?” He said, “Just follow me. I’m going in the same direction.” While going he asked questions and I answered. “Are you a fresh student?” I said, “Yeah.” He said, “Congratulations,” I said, “Thank you.” Then he went on to mention the name of a guy who once lived in the same house with us. He asked, “Do you know Albert?” I said, “We were living in the same house so why not?” He said, “I saw you in that house once when I came to visit him.” I asked, “So you know me?” He answered, “I’ve known you for a very long time.”
That day we exchanged contacts. He called after lectures and asked if we could go home together. That’s where the friendship started. He was at level two hundred and already knew the culture of the university a lot so if there was something I didn’t understand, I went to him and asked for an explanation. He gave me tutorials on certain topics and soon we were inseparable. He came to my house often and I went to his place often too. Just around that time, I had found love with Mr. Yeboah, a man who was twice my age. He was a widower and wanted to be with me. I accepted his proposal because I thought he could help me financially. The problem was that I was already having a boyfriend. A guy I had dated for like four years.
Anytime I wanted to leave the house to meet that man, I used Akwasi as an excuse to escape my parents. I will pick my books and tell my dad, “I’m going to the library with Akwasi and I might come home very late.” My dad was very strict but any time he heard the name of Akwasi, he gave me permission to step out because he knew it was about studies. One late night, I was with this man when I saw Akwasi calling me. He said, “I just met your dad. He asked where you were and I told him I’d left you at the library. But, where are you?” I said, “I will explain when I come around.”
I went to him right after leaving the man. I told him, “Good you covered up for me.” He asked where I was and I told him everything. He asked, “I thought you had a boyfriend?” I said, “Yeah, this one is because of the help he gives me. Please don’t judge me.” He said, “You have to be careful.” I said, “I will.”
From then on, I told him all my secrets. The crazy places I went to and the kind of people I went with. When I got a new phone and he asked how I got it, I told him the truth, “This is from a guy in my class. He proposed to me and I accepted so when he was coming back from vacation, he got me this phone.” I loved talking to him about those things because he was the only one who could listen to me and not judge me. After listening to my escapades, he’ll say, “Just be careful.”
When Yeboah left me, I told him about it. When my five-year-old relationship also ended, I told him about it. I kept him updated with whoever came into my life and went out. At some point, he asked, “Are you not tired?” I said, “You don’t get tired when having fun.” When he was at level four hundred and I was at three hundred, we both moved to the hostel. I was always with him so most people thought we were dating. I remember one night he escorted me to my hostel and just when he left, a guy I had found not too long ago came to pick me up.
The next day he asked me, “Where did you go last night after I’d taken you to your hostel?” The way he said it felt like he already knew what I did so I told him the truth. He said, “Guess how I got to know about it. A girl in your hostel met me this morning and told me everything. She said, “That your girlfriend can’t be trusted. Last night when you brought her to the hostel another man came for her. That’s what she had been doing to you all this while so you better be careful.”
The two of us burst out laughing. I said, “Maybe she likes you. Why don’t you shoot your shot?” He answered, “I don’t like any konkonsa girl in my life.”
He completed school and left campus. A year later, I also completed. After school, I decided enough was enough so I hung up the boot of my waywardness. I was no longer a girl and I felt it. I told myself, “All these won’t take me anywhere. I’m growing and it’s time to take life seriously.” I changed.
Two years after school, I’d started working for a printing press close to campus. He is also working in town so he passed by my shop to work every morning. When he closes from work, he’ll come to where I’m working, sit with me until I close so the two of us could go home together. It’s been like this for a while now. Some weeks ago, while going to the house with him, he said, “Why don’t we date? You’ve been single for a long time now and I’ve been single too. What stops us from dating?”
I was so shocked I didn’t know what to tell him. I said, “Akwasi stop playing. It’s not funny.” He said, “I’m serious. I know you too well and you know me too. That’s to our advantage. Let’s do it.” I looked at him as if I was in a dream. That night I walked home thinking it was all a joke but he hadn’t stopped pestering me for an answer so days ago I told him to stop pestering me and rather give me space and time to think about it.
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He’s a good guy. Ever since I’d known him I’ve never heard him talking about a woman. I was with him most times but I never saw him with a woman. He’s in a great position now and I believe he can be a good husband but I don’t believe I’m the right one for him looking at all the things he knows about me. He knows too much about my past to consider me as a love prospect.
I don’t know what the future may bring but I’m scared I would give him a chance and he would use my past against me. People are people, they change. Today he’s all fine and innocuous so you give him a chance. You may think he’ll be the best boyfriend ever. At this stage of my life, I don’t want to make a mistake in love. I’ve been through a lot to get it wrong again. I’ve considered his proposal. Yeah, he’s a good guy but what he knows about my past gives me a scare. And it’s the reason why I would like to say no to him.
Am I right to think that way? Isn’t he going to bring back my past and judge me based on that? Is he going to trust me when it comes to men? Looking at all the things I’ve ever told him? I’m very confused. Please advise me before I make a decision to accept or not to accept.
–Afriyie
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