I live with a family that is being kind enough to take care of me and sponsor my university education. I have a room all to myself, just like their 13-year-old son. I am petite in nature, but I am a grown-up. I am 26. Their son is taller and physically bigger than I am. That is why, whenever these incidents occur, I feel vulnerable.

The first incident happened in the bathroom. The bathroom door lock is faulty, so anyone can open the door from outside at any time. Because of this, the respectful thing to do is to knock before entering to make sure no one is inside.

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But whenever I am using the bathroom, he would just drag the door open with force. As he clearly sees me bathing, he would rather stand there watching me from head to toe, with his mouth opened wide, and then try to explain himself. The first and second time, I shouted at him before he closed the door and walked away

It has happened not once, not twice, not thrice. It is a daily occurrence. I decided to handle it and talk to him about it myself. “The door is faulty, and because I can’t lock the door from inside, when you want to check if anyone is in there, you knock.” He nodded yes. He is still doing it. It is not an honest, forgetful mistake like I thought it was. It isn’t. Even when I am doing number two, I would notice someone’s shadow behind the door. Whoever is standing there takes to running away as soon as they hear me flushing.

When I return from school, in my room and changing my attire, I notice that he will go around the house and pause behind my window to find a way to watch me undress. Even on a normal day, I will turn and see this boy watching me insistently without batting an eyelid. And he tells lies when you talk to him about it, so it is tiring trying to talk to him. It is like planting seeds on a rock and expecting them to grow.

But some mornings ago, something occurred and it really shook me to my core. I am worried for myself and even for the boy too.

Because of him, I make sure to close my windows and draw my curtains before I undress and dress. That morning was no different. Unfortunately, that morning, I didn’t inspect to make sure the curtain was closed properly, or it may have shifted. There was a tiny see-through gap, and this boy had curled into himself and was peeping through it. He took off as soon as I turned to catch him watching me.

Before that incident even, as I was done taking my bath and came out, I saw his shadow dash away. He was around trying to peep again. Because he knows he is doing wrong and is trying not to get caught, this tall young man will curl into himself, bending low and folding his long body tight, as if you are squeezing water from your washed clothes to dry.

I don’t feel safe here anymore. Every day, I feel violated because this boy doesn’t want to let me rest. He is constantly trying to peep through one thing or the other just to see me naked. It is unsettling. I shouldn’t have to worry about whether he is watching me use the toilet, take my bath, or even dress up.

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I want to report to the parents. Their child’s behaviour is something they surely must know how to handle better. But won’t it be me snitching on him? Or should I try to talk to him myself again and see if he will really change? I have kept quiet because who would believe me that a 13-year-old boy is doing this to me, a grown-up, making me restless. Won’t they try to read meaning into it? It is making me uncomfortable. Another fear I have is that his parents will take his word for it and may even withdraw their support or turn against me.

— OLIVE

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