One afternoon, while at a church conference, a guy came to sit next to me. I was very concentrated on what the preacher man was saying, but the moment he came to us, just a whiff of his perfume took my mind off God’s word and I gave it to him.

He took my pen to jot something down and held on to it until I reminded him that I needed my pen. That little thing started a conversation between the two of us. We exchanged contacts and talked through the whole conference until it was time to head back home.

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He was nice and warm. Our friendship progressed rapidly, and in no time, we were telling each other our secrets, our plans for the future and all.

One day, on a call, he proposed love to me. I said yes. I didn’t know what the future held, but I knew that for now, my heart danced to the tune of his voice, and I liked it to remain like that for a very long time.

He owned a shop in town, so I usually visited him there on weekends. I was a nurse in training. From morning, I would be there, sit at the shop, talk, eat, help him with his work, and return home together with him. It was a cycle of rinse and repeat every weekend.

We didn’t know what we were doing in the beginning of the relationship. It was towards the end of my stay in school that we actually became serious about it and started talking about marriage. This time, the conversation wasn’t because we were newly in love. It just became real for us this time.

And he became very intentional with me. He took me on dates, spoke to me more often, said sweet words more often and, more than once in a while, asked me how my studies were going. He encouraged me to study hard and helped me study too.

But when I left school, it changed.

I don’t know if it was fear that someone else would take me from him, so he was trying to let me go before I broke his heart. We reached a point where, in a week, we couldn’t even speak to each other. I turned a blind eye to it until one day, he himself broke things off.

He told me, “This isn’t going how I imagined it, so let’s end things here before we hate each other.”

I didn’t know how to make things better then, so I agreed for us to end it.

That’s why, months after our breakup, when he came texting me, I didn’t understand. He would text me as if he hadn’t broken my heart, as if nothing had happened. One day, I asked him to stop going round the bush and tell me exactly what he wanted so we could all be free.

He wanted us to be back together.

I didn’t know why I said no. What did he go and do after our breakup? What happened during those gaps? I didn’t have the answers, so I gave him friendship instead.

If I accepted him back, it meant I would have to visit him frequently where he lived. That was what he wanted, but time wouldn’t allow me to do that again.

I agreed that he could call and I would answer and talk. One day, he stopped calling. I didn’t call him again, and that was how it ended.

Just last week, I saw him post a “save the date” picture on his WhatsApp status.

He’s getting married next month.

I never thought I still had feelings for him until I saw his save-the-date pictures.

I’ve been broken since.

He was a very good and calm man, but I don’t know why, at a point, I lost interest in the relationship and didn’t agree for us to come back together. I really regret my actions.

I’ve missed out on a good man, and I don’t know if I will ever find his kind again.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

I feel soooo sad. My greatest regret so far in life. If I had the chance, Anka, I wouldn’t have watched him go. I wish him all the best in his new life, though. He was a great man.

—Davida
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