After I moved into my new house, I became very good friends with my neighbour, who was very kind and started cooking and doing my laundry for me. She said she was trying to take off the stress of moving, unpacking, and settling into my new house.

It turned into Netflix and chill some days. Some days too, she would take over the couch and sleep on it till daybreak. She had a boyfriend, but we were still seeing each other on the side, being intimate and all. It was a good thing, like  old childhood days of stealing chicken from a pot of stew.

One day, our cup ran full. We were sitting down in the living room and heard a loud thud on the door one evening. Then came a constant knocking, followed by a deep voice screaming, “You are there eating another man’s meat. Open the door; we have come to catch you!”

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I started shivering. “Who is it? What are you talking about?” I asked them to stop knocking on the door. They said that if I opened the door and showed them what was behind it, they would stop, and that their source had called them immediately after the girl entered my room. So they had come to see things for themselves.

I was shaking and pacing around the room. The men kept shouting, demanding that I open the door or they were going to do something more dangerous. There were three of them in front of my door. I was outnumbered. If anything at all, they would leave her and focus on me.

But I thought of something fast. I rushed to open and close the door with the key in the twinkle of an eye. It was a tussle. They tried as much as they could to take the keys from my hands, but I couldn’t let them go. One of them threw a punch, and the other person followed. Before I knew it, punches were coming from all directions. I chipped off two of my front teeth. My eyes were aching, my face was on fire, and I had blood in my mouth.

I was done for, but they wouldn’t let me go until they entered the room to see what was there. Me too, I knew what was there, so I said to myself, “Lalai. My steeze is on the line.”

Thankfully for me, the military man who lived in the compound arrived home to see them beating me and managed to separate us. The guys were tough too. You would think that after seeing security, they would run off, but they didn’t.

“If we don’t see what is behind the door, we won’t leave,” they said. If they saw her, they were going to finish me, and even the military man could do little about it.

The military man managed to let me see the sense in allowing them into the room. He said, they wouldn’t do anything to me. So, I unlocked the door and let them in.

The girl was not there. They barged in, straight into the living room, searching behind the doors.

“Did I, by any chance, sleep with a spirit marine? What was happening?” Some form of relief was on their faces. I mean, I wasn’t lying after all. But it was only me who knew what was really happening.

We were all in the room when this girl knocked and entered, looking like someone who had been sleeping. She walked over to stand with them. “What are you doing here? Why are you disgracing me? Every man that is my friend, you accuse me of sleeping with them. Why? You have done it again. Why do you keep disgracing me like that?”

This lady had managed to climb out of my room to her room through the ceiling.

The ceiling had a hole that the electricians who fixed our lighting installation usually left some space for, so they could pass through and move inside the ceiling in case there was a fault. Unbeknownst to me, she climbed up there, walked to her side of the house, cleaned herself up, and showed up.

First, they took me to see the doctor. I was badly injured. Then, I reported the case to the police and saw to it that it went to court.

I wanted to teach them a painful lesson, so I demanded that they pay me 500, 00 cedis as compensation, plus a Toyota Vitz to move around since I couldn’t walk properly after the incident and to cater for my healthcare fully until I was fit.

Their passports were seized, they understood that they could spend at least 5 years in jail.

Their families came around and requested an out-of-court settlement. One of the men’s families were saying that he was to be installed as a chief and they couldn’t have this kind of track record following him.

I agreed and said that, for him, he should give me a piece of land.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

One of the three was also going to be travelling to Germany in some months’ time. I agreed to be compensated with some money. I got the car, the land too, with every document in my name. The court got copies of the evidence on paper, and I removed the case from court.

Everybody went their way. And with how the lady saved me that day, I sold the Vitz, topped it up, and bought a Toyota, I think the 2018 model or so, at 200k as an appreciation for her. I sold the plot as well to some company and travelled with the money to the States.

Five years later, and I say that beating was the best thing to have ever happened to me. I made lemonade out of the lemons life gave me.

—Agyei 

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