I was denied a visa when I thought I’d done everything right. I came out of the embassy with tears in my eyes. When I stepped out, I couldn’t see clearly, so I sat on a bench by the roadside, buried my face in my palms and continued crying. I heard a car horn and lifted my head, only to see a big black car parked by the roadside and the man driving signalling me to come.

When I got there, he asked my name and asked why I was still crying. I sat next to him in his car and narrated my story. He said he was with me inside the embassy and saw me crying while leaving the place. He gave me his card and asked me to call him. He told me he could help me travel if that was all I needed.

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I called days later. He told me he was travelling to the US for just a week and he would call when he returned. We talked while he was away. He called me on a video call and even turned his camera around while teasing me, “Look at it. Glass nkoaa. I’ll bring you here, OK?”

Days later, he proposed to me, even before he returned to Ghana. He was married and, according to him, had three kids who were all abroad. I told him I would respond to his proposal when he came back to Ghana. The love thing wasn’t my interest. I was interested in how he was going to help me travel. He asked me to give him just a year. He would add me to a list of people travelling with a dignitary in Ghana.

He had the master plan. He called this dignitary on the phone and they talked just to prove to me he wasn’t lying and he was on good terms with this dignitary in Ghana’s politics. I accepted his proposal, and the two of us started travelling around the country. Every weekend, we had a place to go. When he needed to go for an assignment outside Accra for days, I took some days off work and followed him.

On one of these trips, we travelled with this dignitary he said I was going to travel with. They talked like people who had known each other forever. They discussed politics, mentioned names of big men and what they’d been doing. They discussed travels, and this dignitary talked about people he travelled with who ended up nearly putting him in trouble.

I knew my access to the US was just a matter of time. This man was very kind to me. His wife was outside the country too, so he would take me home on weekends, and sometimes I would spend a week there with him. He would make his driver take me to work and come for me after work and bring me back home to him.

Just three months into the relationship, I got pregnant. I tested positive while spending the weekend with him. He asked me if I wanted to keep it, and I also asked him the same question, if he wanted me to have his child. He told me, “The dream is to travel early next year. You can’t be carrying a baby while going through the hustle. Let’s let this one go, but if it happens again, we keep it.”

He gave me money, and I bought the drugs. I was with him when I took them. When it came to the one I had to insert, he did it for me while getting intimate. I went through the pain with him, and he was very helpful. I almost forgot he was even married because we lived our lives together more often than apart.

When my rent expired, he rented a better place for me and paid for a year. He said he wanted to pay for two years and then remembered I wouldn’t be in the country the following year. I spoke about him proudly to my friends. I spoke of the dream as if it was happening the next day.

One day, he told me his wife was coming back to the country, so we ought to lay low. I was jealous. I had come to see him as mine, and being with his wife felt like he was cheating on me. A lot didn’t change even when his wife returned. We talked. We travelled together and spent weekends. The only thing was, I didn’t go to his house again.

And then I got pregnant again. The one he said we were going to keep if it happened again. He asked, “Do you really want to have a child with me?” I answered, “Yes, why not? You’re an awesome man, and I want to have a mini you with me.”

He said it was going to complicate my travelling dreams, so I should let it go, but once I travelled to the US, we could have kids together. I didn’t take a drug this time. He called a doctor friend, and I went to see him. A few minutes later, and I was done. He brought me to my house and stayed a while before leaving.

From that day, communication dwindled. It was hard to reach him, and when I finally did, it was either, “I will call you later,” or, “I’m with madam, so let’s talk later.” I later learnt he was out of the country with his wife. I understood the calls wouldn’t be frequent since he was with her, but one day he texted at dawn, telling me his wife had found out about us and was making a whole lot of issues about it, so I should lay low.

After that text message, I didn’t hear from him again for over a month, yet I saw on his status how he was chilling with his wife at different places. Someone who said his wife had found out about us was still chilling with his wife. Does that mean his wife didn’t get angry after finding out about us?

I called him a liar. He said those postings were old videos and photos he was using to calm things down. I asked about my travel plans because it was just two months to the date he gave me, and I had heard nothing. He promised it was going to happen.

As I’m writing this, my number has been blocked, and the date he gave me has come and gone. I saw that dignitary in the news when he travelled to the US. That meant I’d missed the boat. I’m so angry I want to cause havoc. I feel he used his wife to get rid of me, but I don’t want to stay down after two abortions. So I texted him, “Since your wife already knows about me, I will come home and tell her my side of the story.”

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

He has sent his driver to talk to me and ask for the kind of compensation I wanted. I said, “He should take me to the US. That’s all I want.”

He’s still avoiding me. I actually want to go to his house and cause trouble, but then again, I’m scared that would backfire. He has powerful friends. He knows where I live. That scares me when I think of it, but the hurt is too much. I want to pay him back for lying to me, but what can I do?

—Nancy     

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