I don’t know how to let someone love me. I just don’t know how. Most people never make it past the third month of talking to me because, by then, I usually start pulling away for one reason or another.

Recently, though, I decided to do something different. I opened my heart and gave Kobby a chance. For the first time in a long while, I let my heart experience what it feels like to be loved and desired.

Things were good in the beginning, but we had one major problem. We communicated very differently.

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If I can’t see someone regularly, I need phone calls to feel close to them. I love hearing a person’s voice in the morning or in the evening, talking about our day, asking each other random questions, laughing, and simply feeling like we’re part of each other’s lives. That’s how I build emotional connection, and I made that clear to him from the beginning.

Kobby, however, isn’t much of a caller. Most of our conversations happened through short text messages. While that might be enough for some people, it wasn’t enough for me. I first started to feel a disconnect between us, even though we were not having any big fights. About three months later, that feeling of disconnection was still there, so I began pulling away from whatever it was we were building together.

Now that I’ve finally sorted through my emotions and reached out to him, he says my silence told him everything he needed to know. To him, me ghosting him meant I’d already made my decision.

I tried to explain, but it didn’t change anything. He said it was better to let things go. Now I’m left wondering if I made a mistake.

Should I have spoken up sooner instead of withdrawing? Should I have given the relationship more time before deciding something was missing? Or were we just incompatible because we needed different things from a relationship and expressed love in different ways?

I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone

Please be honest, but kind. I’m not looking for anyone to blame. I genuinely want to learn from this experience so I can do better in the future.

— Jenny

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