He is doing well by me and has enrolled me in the trade I am currently learning. Whenever he talks about the future, he mentions my name and tells me the role I will play in it, especially as his wife. Even while I am learning this trade, he keeps promising me, “I will make sure I get you a store and everything you need to start this journey.” He doesn’t have crazy money, but he does what he can, and I can see the effort he puts into helping me build a better life.

We’ve been dating for almost a year now, and in this time, he has been a great help to me financially, emotionally, and in so many other ways. However, our relationship started off on rocky ground. While people say the first few months of a relationship are supposed to be rosy and smooth, ours was anything but that.

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He told me he was a single man whose heart had been broken months before. He wasn’t. I found out the truth when some woman texted me using his own phone and told me to leave her man alone. She said, “Leave him for me so that he can concentrate on building his family.” I knew he had a child, but according to him, they were only co-parenting and nothing romantic was going on between them.

Basically, our love story began with a lie, but I also know that some relationships have started under worse circumstances and still worked out.  Despite the warnings and threats from the other woman, we are still together.

Because of the nature of his work, he travels a lot, and it leaves me scared and confused about what else he might be doing on those trips, considering where our relationship stands. Sometimes, it troubles me more than I care to admit, but I choose to believe in him. He has always been a man who walks his talk, and that is what keeps pulling me back whenever doubt creeps in.

I know him the way I know my menstrual cycle, and a part of me truly believes he means the things he says.

But here’s another problem. He is still living with the same woman. They are even preparing to have another baby together. Right now, as I am speaking, she is pregnant with their second child. Meanwhile, when I inquired why they were still living together, he explained that it was only temporary, that they had nothing going on between them, and that he was only offering her a place to stay until she found somewhere else to move to.

But it turns out they have been doing more than that.

Clearly, we are still trying to find a balance in the weird situation he has brought us into, and best believe, I know how absurd it sounds that he is trying to make me believe there is nothing romantic happening between them.

Well, about two months ago, I met another man, and we have been talking about love and whatnot. My boyfriend found out about it and got pissed off. He said what I was doing was cheating, that I was cheating on him emotionally, and so I had to beg him to forgive me.

Before my boyfriend caught me, I had already found out that this new guy was also living with another woman in her house. I don’t know what is following me. Anyway, because of that, I told him I couldn’t continue the relationship.

But this man doesn’t want to free me.

He is in my DMs, on my Facebook, and at my workplace, preaching about forgiveness and whatnot. It has been a month, and he is still begging me to stay with him because he says he loves me.

“I am only staying with her because of financial circumstances.”

According to him, he is no longer with that woman, and I am the one he truly wants.

He is a good man to me in many ways, but I can’t see a future with him the same way I see one with my current boyfriend. He doesn’t seem serious about life, and I am afraid that if I leave my boyfriend for him, I might regret it later.

Please help me choose, the lesser devil since they all are. One has been offering me stability, a future, and promises of building a life together. The other is sort of a lazy man who wants to be taken care of. He is supposedly single now and waiting for me to give him another chance, but I am scared that choosing him could become one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone

I don’t know if I am holding on to promises, ignoring red flags, or simply afraid of starting over. All I know is that I am tired of being confused, and I just want to make the right decision for my future.

—Joice

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