When I was doing my national service, I stayed with my big sister, who had a close friend named Yayra. Over time, I also became close to one of her friends. You know how girls can be. As girls, we talked about everything, love, marriage, money, and all the complicated things in between. I especially enjoyed our conversations because she was a married woman with children, so she felt like another big sister to me.

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She was kind to me in a very practical way. She cooked for me, served me, and sometimes gave me money when I didn’t have enough to get to work. She really took care of me, and I felt supported in that season of my life. We were very close until I finished my national service and got a job.

Even after that phase ended, we were still as tight as ever. I would send them money whenever they needed it. During festive seasons, it was a thing we did where we exchanged gifts among the three of us. Sometimes it was only me doing the gifting, but we did not mind, as long as we all enjoyed the festive seasons. Nothing else mattered.

Now I am married, and things are still the same in a way. We still talk about everything without boundaries. Even small things, like my husband farting while we are on video call, become something we all laugh about. I tell her everything about my husband because that is how open we are. Even before marriage, we spoke about everything, including her own marriage issues, so I often go to her for advice on many things.

Right now, I am not working because I have a baby. My husband is the sole provider. The little he sends, I am able to manage and distribute to some families. Whenever he gives me money for that purpose, I usually end up telling her too.

Some months ago, I gave some money to my sister. She came complaining that business was slow and she needed help with stock. I spoke to my husband about it, and he gave me 1,000 dollars to send to her.

Yayra was aware. Out of habit, I also told her that I would do her share too.

Her husband had been sick all this while, and they were finding it hard to pay for the many medicines, so I initially planned to help as well. Again, I asked my husband, and he gave me 300 dollars to support them. Sadly, her husband passed away. After that, I promised her I would support her to start a business whenever I got the chance.

But recently, my husband stopped giving me money for such things. He says I have the habit of spending money unnecessarily, and that he wants to focus on saving and building something better for me and the children in the future.

True to his words, he did not give me the money I requested, and my friend Yayra keeps asking each time, but I tell her to give me some time.

Last two weeks, her first daughter got married, but I did not receive any money from my husband to send. I even asked my sister to speak on my behalf and promised I would pay everything back when I got the chance.

To be honest, I know myself. If I had the money right now, I could easily give her 2,000 dollars without hesitation.

But now she thinks I am lying to her and that I do not want to help, so she has started giving me attitude. She posts things on her status about fake friends and how people behave when someone is in need, and every time I see them, I feel like they are directed at me. Because of that, I stopped viewing her status, deleted her number, and hid my online activity from her.

She also stopped calling for over a week, so I thought maybe things had settled. But she later sent me a message on Mother’s Day and even called me. I told her I would call her back, but I did not, and she has not reached out since.

Now I finally have some money again, and she is the first person I think about, but I do not feel like sending it to her anymore.

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Am I a bad person for that, especially when I once promised to help her when I get the next chance?

My conscience is really struggling with me.

—Gloria

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