I was still in senior high school when I fell pregnant. At that point, it felt like all hope had slipped out of my hands, especially after I decided that termination was not an option for me. I had made my mistakes, but I did not believe the innocent child growing inside me should pay for them. The man responsible for the pregnancy was someone I had only recently started dating, and he was not a resident of my town. He would come and go as he pleased.

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It was during the Covid lockdown that I returned home from school and found that he was also in town. We had used protection a few times, but there was only one time we had sex without protection, and that was what led to the pregnancy. He asked what I thought we should do since I was still in school, and I told him I was scared of abortion, so I preferred to keep the baby and return to school after delivery.

He agreed with my plan and said it made sense. He then brought his mother to my home, and together they formally accepted responsibility for the pregnancy.

We started having troubles in my fifth month of pregnancy. He would not come home early, sometimes he would not come home at all. He left the house before the sun even rose. He stopped leaving money for me to feed myself, and there were times I went hungry, I was being starved. Some days, I had no choice but to walk all the way to my mother’s house just to get something to eat.

I reported his behavior to my mother, hoping he would change, but nothing improved. After I gave birth, I still held on to a little hope. I thought he would see his son, look at me, and be overwhelmed by the fact that I had brought his child into the world. It was a fantasy that never became reality. The man I had dated was completely different from the man he became after I got pregnant.

The agreement had always been that I would return to school after giving birth, but when the time came, he told me, “I have something else better to do with my money, not you.”

When my son was almost a year old, I brought up my education again, hoping he had changed his mind. Instead, he gave me the same answer. I did not like the direction things were heading, and it hurt even more because he had played a major role in why I had dropped out of school in the first place.

In the end, I decided to take responsibility for my own life and move forward without him. Somewhere along the way, our relationship came to an end.

In 2023, I met a man on Facebook who became my friend. For the first time after everything I had been through, I opened up to someone and told him my story. He felt like the angel God had sent into my life.

Whenever I lay awake at night worrying about my future and wondering how I would survive, he comforted me and offered support in ways I never expected. He did not ignore my financial struggles either. He helped with food, paid bills, and even offered to cover my child’s school fees without me asking.

Watching a man show me that kind of care despite my past stirred feelings in me. However, I later discovered that he was married. He had never mentioned it from the beginning, and when I found out, I decided to distance myself because I did not want to become part of breaking another woman’s home. I knew firsthand how painful complicated relationships could be.

He noticed that I had withdrawn and asked me why. I told him I could not be involved with a married man.

He insisted it was not a problem because his wife was aware and he intended to take a second wife  “My wife knows I want a second wife, so it is fine. We will be fine. ”

It still felt wrong to me, but I agreed to continue the relationship. We have never been intimate, and he is currently out of the country.

Recently, I met another man I already knew but was not close to. He says he wants to marry me as soon as possible if I give him my full commitment. The problem is I do not really love him, and the man I have feelings for is married.

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Now I find myself confused. Should I accept the new man and try to build love with him over time, or should I stay with the married man I have feelings for?

This isn’t just about me. It’s about my child too. Whatever decision I make won’t affect only my life, it will affect his as well. That’s what makes this so difficult. I have to think beyond my feelings and consider what kind of future I’m creating for him

— Blessing

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