I cheated on my girlfriend. I’m not proud of saying that, but that’s what happened. I thought I was very good at hiding it but one day, she caught me red-handed when she came to my place at 5:30 a.m., wanting to see me before she traveled.

We had talked about her trip the night before and at no point did she tell me she would come to my place before leaving. I called Agnes, a girl I’ve been dating on the side, to come over. Agnes made our relationship easier because she knew I had a girlfriend and she knew how deep our relationship went, but she was willing to do it with me regardless. When I asked her to come over, she said, “Don’t let me get beaten ooo. You know I’m not strong.”

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She only agreed to stay the night because I told her Akos had traveled. I had woken up but was still in bed when I heard the knock on my door. I thought it would be one of the neighbors. I got to the door and asked who it was, and she said calmly, “Open the door. It’s Akos.”

I quivered. “Akos? How? I thought you said you would travel at dawn. You didn’t go?”

She screamed, “Open the door and stop asking questions. I’m here to receive one round before I travel. Open the door.”

Agnes had already heard her voice and was dressing up, but there was no place to hide that Akos wouldn’t see her. I started apologizing even before I opened the door. I asked her to be patient no matter what she would see.

“I can explain, so please don’t make a scene. Let’s resolve this between us, I beg you.”

She was surprised I was saying all that and she said, “Or there’s a woman in there with you?”

I responded, “Yes, but I can explain. There’s nothing going on. She came to watch Netflix and she fell asleep on the sofa, and I also fell asleep. I just woke up to see she didn’t go. Don’t get mad. That’s the gospel truth.”

I was buying time to make Agnes settle. She wasn’t scared. It was like she was ready for what may come. She sat on the sofa waiting for the drama to end so she could walk out.

I opened the door slowly but Akos pushed through and saw Agnes seated on the sofa. She didn’t say a word to her. Agnes got up and walked out of the door. Akos only looked while she walked out.

“She’s not even beautiful,” Akos said. “What does she have that I don’t have? Does she know this room was empty and your mattress was on the floor when we started dating? Now your hand can reach your back so you can bring another woman in?”

I swore heaven and earth that nothing happened. She went to the bedroom and said, “Liar. She slept here. She’s smelling all over the place.”

I told her that was because she used the bathroom at dawn. She was scanning, searching for evidence. She lifted the cloth and Agnes’ underwear fell on the floor.

“So she slept on the sofa while you slept with her underwear here? Make it make sense.”

At this point, there was nothing to say in my defense other than continue apologizing. I couldn’t even blame the devil. It was so glaring and embarrassing, all I could do was beg. I even went down on my knees.

She stormed out of the room and we didn’t talk again for days while she was on her trip. I kept sending messages and voice notes, begging her to forgive me. Out of the blue, she responded, “I forgive you.”

I knew it couldn’t be real forgiveness so I kept begging and begging until she called and we talked.

“Don’t you hear that I’m laughing? I have forgiven you. It’s only a man who’ll do this. I forgive you.”

When she came back from her trip, I went to her place and she didn’t allow me inside her room. She said I needed body cleansing before I could get close. She even said only baptism could make me clean enough to come close again. I thought with time her heart would thaw and we’d be good again.

I came home from work and my TV was no longer on the wall. She sent a text: “I can’t watch a TV she has watched. Buy a new one.”

I screamed, “How can you tell me this? Return the TV. I’ve apologized, so why my TV?”

The next day, the bed frame was gone. She bought it for me, so I could get it if she wanted it back. She said I should change my mattress but she had taken the frame to be used as firewood.

She had the spare keys. I decided to change my locks before she came for anything else. The carpenter I called delayed for two days. I was at work when she texted, “Buy new tiles on your way home. You’ll need them. I can’t walk on what she has walked on.”

I rushed home even before closing time, only to see the tiles in the middle of the hall cracked with a hammer. She even left the hammer in my room.

I was burning with rage. I called and threatened her but when she reminded me she bought the tiles, all my rage dissipated. It turned into, “So you’ll destroy all these things because of a small cheating? Do you know how much tiles cost these days?”

She said, “The next thing is the sofa. I need men to help me carry it from there. I haven’t found them yet, that’s why those sofas are still there.”

That very day, I brought in the carpenter and changed the locks. I told her if she tried anything stupid again, I would bring the police into the matter.

She even left her place to live with a friend so I wouldn’t find her. I was scared she would break the door and take the sofa away, so I employed one guy in the area to guard my door for me.

For a week, it was calm. She didn’t come around and didn’t call me. I accepted the relationship was over because she couldn’t do all that to me if she still wanted a relationship.

One evening she walked in. The tiles were still undone. The wall was without the TV. My mattress was on the floor. I was very happy to see her regardless. All was not lost. I still loved her and I believed she loved me too. She wouldn’t do all that in the absence of love.

She didn’t sit because, according to her, Agnes had sat on the sofa. She stood while we talked. She said she had forgiven me but would never return to a relationship like that again. I asked why she came then and she pointed at her things in the room.

“I came for them and also to let you know I’ve moved on.”

A call came through on her phone. She answered and said, “A minute. I’m coming.”

I looked outside and saw a driver waiting for her. I don’t know who that guy was but I got the message. She walked out of my door and I knew that was it.

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But I’ve learned my lesson. For two years she was in my corner helping me stay stable, loving me and providing for me when I couldn’t do it all alone. If she meant to destroy everything she had contributed to, then my life should have been the first thing she touched.

I don’t blame her for walking away or destroying what she helped buy. If I were in her shoes, I might have done worse.

I wished her well and also thanked her for the lesson that in the game of relationships, when you have a queen, you don’t exchange her for a joker. It will be hard to find someone like her.

—Alfred 

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