When my stepdad started looking at me funny, I told my mom about it. That I wasn’t comfortable with the way he looked at me and the way he always wanted to be in my space, especially when he realized I was alone. My mom shouted at me and asked me to shut up or she would send me to my grandma.

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I’m twenty-one. I’ve come close to being S.A’d more than twice, so I know how men behave when they want to do evil things to your body. I locked my door whenever I was alone. Whenever he was around and we were alone in the house, I didn’t come out. Even when he knocked, I didn’t open the door. I talked to him through the locked door.

On that eventful day when he attacked me, I was on the toilet. Who would ever think a man would attack you when you are on the toilet doing your thing? But he did. He didn’t mind that I wasn’t clean. He didn’t mind that I was yet to wipe. He just attacked and I couldn’t fight him in that small toilet room.

It was my first time, and my first happened with my stepdad. When my mom returned, I reported it to her. And the first thing she did was slap me. “If you don’t like him, fine, but stop putting things on him. What do you have that will attract a man like him?”

He disappeared for weeks. Throughout that period, I cried. My mom watched me from the corner of her eyes without saying or doing anything for me. I went to my grandma one weekend and told her I wasn’t going back. She asked why and I told her everything. She believed me and said sorry to me several times, but she shushed me. “Don’t let anyone else hear about this. God will deal with him the way he dealt with you.”

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I’m still living with my grandma and my mom hasn’t made any attempt to ask me to come back home. It looks like she’s happy that I’m out of the scene. Now she can marry that good-for-nothing man without any interference from me. I hate her. I hate her with everything in me. I tell my friends I don’t have a mom. She’ll die today and I won’t attend her funeral. And do you know what makes me happy?

She knows that I hate her and I will never make her my mom, not even in my next life. This marriage will soon fail and I pray that heartbreak ends her life in her sleep. She doesn’t deserve to be a mother.

—Eme

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