Two months after marriage, he cheated on me with his ex. I didn’t go looking for the truth; it was his ex who reached out to me with evidence because the two of them had had a fight. I defended my husband and insulted his ex. Not because I didn’t trust her evidence, but because at that moment, the health of my marriage was very important to me.
FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX
“Why are you running to me when things are bad between you two?” I asked her. “Did you look for me when things were going well for the two of you?”
She insulted me and called me a slave in marriage because my husband had told her he didn’t love me but married me because I work like a horse. That too, she sent as a screenshot. She meant to hurt my feelings. She meant to shake the foundation of our marriage, and she succeeded in both.
When the dust settled, I turned my attention to my husband, asking why he would go out there and embarrass me that way. He told me it was his ex who seduced him and that he was sorry about everything. It was hard for me to forget, but I learned to forgive with time.
While I was pregnant, he started hitting on Rose, one of the ladies who was part of the bridal train during my wedding. It was Rose’s close friend who told me about it. Rose did well. She didn’t give in, and because nothing happened between them, I tried not to talk about it. I was heavily pregnant too, so my health and peace of mind were paramount.
While I was heavily pregnant and suffering, he would leave me in the house on weekends and come home very late at night. He would travel for days on job trips I didn’t see coming and return with a condom in his bag. I bore it all with grace until I delivered a beautiful baby girl.
He didn’t stop his disappearing acts. His mom was living with us. I complained to her, and she advised him on many occasions, but he wouldn’t change his ways. I needed to know what the problem was, whether I was the one pushing him away or there was something out there pulling him away. So one late dawn, I picked up his phone and started going through it. I could count three different women he was dating. One was even discussing pregnancy with him.
He woke up from sleep, saw me going through his phone, jumped on me, and started hitting me everywhere his hand could land, as if he was fighting his peer. “Who gave you the right to go through my phone?” Then a slap and a hit on my face. I started shouting. It was his mom who came in to stop him from beating me.
To me, that was the beginning of the end of our marriage. His mom tried to stop me, but I’d had enough. I carried our five-month-old baby in my bosom and left the house, never to return again until the divorce was granted.
I was only twenty-eight. I started rebuilding my life from scratch with a baby who could barely see what was going on. By the time our daughter was four years old, he had stopped sending money for her upkeep. I think the last money he sent was when our baby was sick and admitted to the hospital. She was two years old then.
Anytime I called to ask for child support, he insulted me and asked me to go for money from the sugar daddies I was chasing. He called me a whore who had left her marriage to chase after old men. It didn’t bother me because it was not true. A friend of mine at Legal Aid took the matter up and he was called. It was settled that he should give us GHC1,000 every month.
He would come to my place and deliver the whole GHC1,000 in coins—one and two cedi denominations. I didn’t fight him. I didn’t complain. It hurt a little, but when he did it consistently for months, my mom and dad teased me about it. “Have your coins arrived?” or “Very soon, you’ll have to open a coins factory.”
A man came into my life along the line. He liked me, but he hadn’t proposed. We were just getting to know each other. One day, I was out with this new man when my ex appeared out of nowhere with his two friends.
“You see what I always tell you? You’re nothing but a prostitute. What are you doing here at this time, a born-one who’s supposed to be home breastfeeding?”
He turned to the man and said, “I’m the one taking care of her and her daughter. If you don’t know what to do with your life and want to date a thing like that, then prepare very well. Because I’m not going to pay her while you sleep with her.”
I buried my face in my palms as if that made me invisible. I was stunned and pushed to tears but didn’t cry. I said sorry to the new man and we left while everyone looked at us. I didn’t hear from that man again, but that was OK. He didn’t deserve what happened.
He did a lot of crazy things time wouldn’t allow me to talk about. My elder brother in Canada got frustrated and started working on my documents to bring me to Canada. I prayed with desperation, asking God for a miracle. Eventually, one hot afternoon in April 2024, I boarded the plane and left for Canada with my daughter in tow. He didn’t know I was traveling. He came home to deliver his coins when my dad told him he didn’t have to. “She’s traveled. You can leave with your money.”
Now he’s telling everyone that I’d stolen his daughter. He says he’s going to court to get an order for me to return his daughter. He writes about it on his Facebook wall, saying he took care of me and my daughter but I ran away with his daughter. Those who don’t know the story jump on it to call me names. So one day I commented, “Are you not happy you’re not carrying coins to my house monthly?”
Men Don’t Like It When Women Do The Paying
He blocked me. He called and threatened, “If you don’t return my daughter as soon as possible, beautiful things will turn to dust right before your eyes. You’ll be in Ghana without knowing what brought you home.”
I blocked him. I pray no woman on earth should ever find a man like my ex, not even my enemies. People like him should die lonely and miserable. They deserve no companionship.
