Anytime my girlfriend wanted something from me, especially money, she would start by saying, “Hmmm, I don’t know how to say it. You know, it’s alright.”

Once I probed and coerced her to say whatever it was, she would tell me, “It’s not easy for me to say this, but can you give me GHC1,350? It’s quite urgent. Kindly help if you can.”

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After the second ask, I stopped probing. Once she mentioned, “I don’t know how to say it…” I would either force us to change the topic or also say something for her to know I’m broke.

We dated for seven months, but she needed money for surgery, she needed money to save her cousin’s life, she needed money for an uncle who had just had an accident, and she needed money because her brother abroad had delayed in sending her monthly allowance. Meanwhile, she was working.

When I stopped probing, she started coming straight with, “You know it’s hard for me to say it…”

One day, when she started her sentence, I concluded, “It’s always hard for you to say it, but you say it anyway, so why don’t you go straight to the point? Anyway, I’m very broke today, and it’s hard for me to say it.”

This issue brought a huge fight between us, which lasted for over two weeks. I was the one calling her every day, and she would decide whether to pick or not pick. I was the one doing the texting, so I got tired and stopped. We didn’t talk for days.

When she finally called, she said, “You say you care, but we’ve been fighting and you’ve never bothered to come home for us to talk. Where’s the care?”

I refused the bait.

And then she came again, “That’s how you all men are. Once you get it, nothing else matters.” I retorted quickly, “You mean to tell me that’s how all you women are? Once we date, you have to tell us what’s difficult for you to tell us?”

That relationship didn’t last beyond that fight. She blocked me. I moved on as if nothing had happened.

A story was shared here about a lady who said her boyfriend didn’t probe further, so he didn’t care, and surprisingly, everyone in the comments, even most men, accused the man of not caring enough.

I was laughing. The comments made me feel like all those commenting didn’t live in Ghana or had come from Mars not long ago.

Who doesn’t know that’s the stock-in-trade of women who want to suck you dry? If I had the guy’s number, I would have called to congratulate him for cutting the BS as early as possible. If I had known what he knew earlier, I wouldn’t have given money to a woman who asked for money so easily and yet wanted to create the impression that it was hard for her to do so.

A grown-up woman can’t tell you what is on her mind because it’s difficult for her, and you believe it? Let this same woman get the slightest hint that you’re cheating and see the speed with which she would ask questions. Dear men, don’t probe anything. It usually leads nowhere else apart from financial help. It’s a trap!

—Albert

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