I had called my mom and waiting for her to answer the phone. Immediately she picked the phone, I said, “Hello.” I heard a voice outside the phone responding to my hello. I wasn’t sure so I said hello again and the voice responded, “Hello.” I turned around to look at the one responding. I saw a gentleman standing next to a car. He said hi and asked if he could talk to the person I was on the phone with. I only smiled and walked past him. He wasn’t going to stand there and watch me leave so he followed.

He said, “I just want to say hello to the person too.” I asked, “You know who I’m talking to? It’s my mom.” He insisted, so I told my mom, “Someone wants to talk to you.” He grabbed the phone from me and told my mom, “I’m coming for your daughter.” He then handed the phone back to me. I realized he wanted to talk to me so I told my mom, “Let me call you back later.”

He asked, “Where are you going?” I said, “I just closed from work so I’m going home.” He asked, “Where do you work?” I told him, “I’m a national service personnel.” He said, “My name is Kay. Can I have your number?” I gave him my number and he also gave me his number. That was how friendship started between me and Kay. I was in the Western region doing my national service.

Three days later, I had a call from him. He asked, “Can we meet?” I said, “Why not?” Minutes later, he came around with his friend and we hang out for several hours. Through conversations, I got to know that they were also new to the environment just as I was. They had spent only a week in the region working on some contract. He told his friend, “You can’t imagine how lucky I am to find this girl. I don’t want to waste time at all. I want to make her my wife.”

Not too long afterward, he proposed but I said no to his proposal. He asked why and I told him, “We just met. I don’t know you that much.” He never stopped coming. He called every day and night. Our conversations lasted for hours. Somewhere along the line, something changed. His persistence over the months made me think he was serious about me so I gave him a yes.

Kay was just a perfect gentleman who knew how to make a woman happy. I couldn’t stay a day without seeing him. He suddenly became my favorite person and because of him, I couldn’t wait to close from work each day just so I can be with him.

Eight months into our relationship, he told me, “The office needs me back in Accra so I have to go.” The news hit me hard but I was comforted by the fact that I was also almost done with my national service. He said, “Don’t worry, I will do all I can to get you a job in Accra so we don’t have to be in a long-distance relationship.” I trusted him. I felt comforted.

True to his words, he started sending my CV to his connections in Accra even before I completed National service. I had completed service and had gone back to the eastern region when Kay called me. He said, “Expect a call for an interview tomorrow. I’d been assured of that so get ready to attend an interview.”

The next day the call came through. We had the whole interview on phone. After the interview, the person said, “You can come to Accra tomorrow for us to finalize everything.” I called Kay to tell him how everything went. The next day, he met me mid-way in Accra and drove me to the venue. I met the manager and after a few discussions, he handed me my appointment letter. I couldn’t believe it when I saw my salary. I was so excited and couldn’t hold myself together.

I was given only two days to report to work.

On our way back, I asked him, “Where am I going to stay?” He responded, “Don’t worry, I’ll look for a place for you.” I felt a little bit disappointed when he didn’t tell me we were going to live together. It wasn’t the right thing to do but that was what my heart wanted. I asked him, “So why don’t I live at your place for the time being?” He smiled and told me not to worry. I went back to the Eastern region the same day so I would be able to use the two days meaningfully without stress.

Not knowing where I was going to stay got me worried. My mom spoke to one aunt I didn’t even know and she agreed to host me until I find a place of my own. I told Kay about it and he disagreed. The next morning, he called to tell me he was fine so I could go ahead and live with my aunt for the time being.

I moved to Accra and went straight to my aunt’s place to begin my working life. The first day I went to work, I got to know that Kay’s office was just a walking distance from where I was working. That increased the joy in my heart knowing I wasn’t too far from the man I loved. Weeks later I asked him, “So when are you taking me home? You don’t think it’s appropriate for me to know where you live?” He giggled and found a clever way to change the topic. He took me to interesting places and bought me expensive gifts but that didn’t impress me much.

One day he told me. “I’ve got you a new place. I want you to meet the landlady.” We went to check the place up and met with the landlady. When I confirmed that I liked the place, he paid the rent and got the place furnished for me. When I moved into the new place, he came around often and sometimes spent a whole week with me.

Days turned to weeks. Weeks turned to months and months to a year, I still didn’t know where he lived. Something wasn’t right and my intuition was getting louder. One day I told him, “If you’re not ready to show me where you live, then stay away from me. I don’t want to see you or talk to you.” He thought I was joking. He thought he could break my resolve. I was stronger. I stayed miles away from him. When he realized I was serious about what I said, he took me to his father’s house and pretended that was the place he lived.

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One night, I took his phone and went through it. There were family photos of him and another woman with two kids standing in front of them. My heart started racing. I went through his messages and got a lot of clues that pointed to the fact that he was married. God!!! Does it mean I’ve been dating a married man?  Something I vowed never to do? I was broken. I asked him severally and he denied it. All the explanations he gave didn’t make sense.

I later found a sister of his and she confirmed that Kay was married with two kids.  When he realized I knew too much to be lied to, he started bad-mouthing his wife to me; “She’s a bad woman and I regret marrying her. I’ve been trying secretly to divorce her so I can marry you but you know, these things take time and I couldn’t tell you about it because I didn’t want to lose you.”

I started giving him space. He wasn’t ready to let me go. He sent friends to talk to me. He told me times without number that his intentions for me were pure so I shouldn’t leave him. He became overly possessive and didn’t want to leave me to do anything for myself. For a whole year, he was hanging around, trying to get me to be his again. I gave him space. It was the hardest thing to do but I told myself it wasn’t worth it. Slowly I moved away from him and the whole thing came to an end.

It’s been 5 years since Kay but I’m still working at the company he found for me. Recently, I met him and his wife. His wife was heavily pregnant. I said to myself, “He has been able to impregnate the woman he didn’t want to have anything to do with? Men like Kay.”

–Nana Ama

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