After university, I was posted to Accra to do my national service. My senior sister lived in Accra so one day I packed all my things, traveled to her place, and started living with her. We are four sisters. She’s the firstborn and I’m the third born. We’ve always had a beautiful relationship while growing up so going to live with her wasn’t anything I thought twice about.

She had a two-bedroom house to herself. She was doing very well in her chosen career and she had been the person who supported my parents to take care of us while we were in school. When I started national service, I met Adams who was also working at the place where I was posted to.

The day he saw me he asked, “What’s your name and what are you doing in our office?” I laughed because two hours prior to that moment, HR introduced me to them as the new service personnel. But I answered him anyway. “I’m Ella and I’m here because I’m doing my service here.” He said, “Ella the service personnel.” I said, “Yeah you can call me that.”

That day he took me to lunch and we talked about everything that came to mind. He asked where I lived and I told him. He said, “That’s the route I use every day when I’m coming to work.” I said, “I guess it’s my lucky day because I struggle with transport when coming to work.”

From that day, I came to work with Adams and went home with him. One day he wanted to see where I lived so I took him home and he met my sister. She teased, “Eii Ella, just now that you started working there, you’ve found a boyfriend?” We all laughed. I told her the truth that he wasn’t a boyfriend. I said, “He’s been the guy for me since I started working there. He brings me home and takes me there each day.” She said, “But he’s a nice guy?” I said, “I know.” We all laughed again.

Not too long afterward, Adams proposed. I actually saw it coming. He became a little bit clingy and asked questions about whoever I talked to at the workplace. He’ll ask me, “I saw you standing there with John and laughing. What was he telling you that made you laughed like that?” He asked that kind of question a lot so I saw where the whole thing was going. The day he proposed, I accepted.

That was when he started coming to visit me on weekends and taking me out whenever he could. Whenever he came around, he’ll ask permission from my sister and my sister will say something like, “Go with her today but make sure tomorrow you come for me too.” So, one day, the three of us went out together and had a lot of fun. The two of them knew how to drink but I didn’t drink anything.

When service was over, I traveled back to Cape Coast to live with my parents for a while. I used that time to search for a job and whenever I got an interview in Accra, I went to stay with my sister so I could attend the interview the following day. I wasn’t in Accra but I and Adams remained very strong together. We talked every day and night and sometimes stayed on the phone until the cock would crow.

A year later I had a job in Accra so I moved back to live with my sister. Things continued from where we left off until we got to the point where getting married was the natural thing to do.

I remember the day I told my senior sister that we were getting married. She said, “This marriage di3 I have to be the bridesmaid because everything started and ended right under my nose. I didn’t contest. She was hugely involved in our wedding planning. She chose our color, negotiated with vendors, and got us the best prices. She ran a lot of errands on our behalf until the day the wedding was done.

The day I was moving out of her house to live with Adams, I got very emotional. It felt like I was saying goodbye to the best thing that ever happened to me but I had to go.

I and Adam have been married for three years now and everything had been smooth between us until the storm raged some weeks ago. It was one evening when I received a call from my sister. When I picked it, it was a man who spoke to me. He said, “I’m your sister’s pastor and a prophet. God revealed some issues to me some nights ago and you’re involved. I’ve talked to your sister and we’ve reached an agreement to come to see you tomorrow.”

When he dropped the line, I called my sister to ask what the issue was about. She told me to wait until the next day. All night I couldn’t sleep. I was thinking. The morning came and they also came around. The prophet started the conversation and ended by saying, “Your sister has a confession. This is a direction from God and I know God will touch your heart to accept everything in good faith.”

My sister started, “So when you completed national service and went back home, Adams came around often so we could go out. One night, I don’t know what came over us but after he dropped me he insisted he wanted to come in with me. He came in and by the time we realized, the two of us were on the floor naked. I swear it wasn’t intentional. It could be the alcohol we took. Prophet told me it’s the reason why I can’t have a husband of my own so I have to confess. So, here we are. I’m only asking you to forgive me and treat it like a spot that can be washed away.”

My heart started beating faster. I started sweating like I’d run a marathon. My hands were visibly shaking. I said, “Why would you do this to me? You went too far…you really went too far and I wish I never had to know this.” The prophet said, “God wants you to know that’s why he directed us here. You’ve been married for three years; do you have a child?” I shook my head. He said, “That could be the reason why your womb is closed. If you forgive, everything that is blocked in your life will be opened so you experience abundant blessings. Forgive. Look into her eyes and forgive her. You both would be free.”

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I asked for some time to think about it. I told them, “I need to speak to Adams about it. I need answers. It’s easier to forgive when you know all the side to the story.” When Adams came home that evening I asked him, “You slept with my sister and you didn’t tell me about it?” He asked, “Who told you?” I said, “My sister confessed so you too confess. You’re evil Adams. How can you do that to us? Your conscience didn’t prick you when you were doing it with her?”

When he heard all the issues surrounding the confession, he mellowed and apologized. He said, “We were drunk. We didn’t know what we were doing.” I screamed, “Liar! You knew paaaa. You didn’t see when you were taking her panties off?”

In the end, I was pushed to forgive. It was easier to forgive my sister looking at all the things she had done for me. I don’t see her often so it’s also easier to forget. I live with Adams and I see him every day. It’s hard to forget. It’s hard not to think about it. I told them I’d forgiven them but it feels like I was pushed to forgive too soon. I didn’t get enough time to heal and to forgive.

It’s been several months but it still burns like fire in my heart whenever I think about it. It has affected everything between me and my husband. I have to fake happiness and I have to fake my smile around him. I have to fake everything and pretend it doesn’t hurt but it hurt. Sometimes I feel like putting everything down and run away. It’s easy to say I have forgiven them but honestly, it’s hard to live knowing all that I know.

–Ella

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