I met my husband at a movie audition. A friend of mine dragged me along. She wanted to become an actress, and I didn’t have the ambition or the skills. But I went, and auditioned.

By the end of the day, one of the struggling actors became my friend. And eventually, we started dating. He was smart, creative, and he made me feel closer to him than anyone else ever had. He didn’t just say “I love you.” He showed it. We were everywhere together. There was no breathing space, no pause in between.

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I had a pause, though. In spite of his creativity, he was a very broke man, barely making it through. I wanted to leave at that point, but I weighed the options. I always do. He was smart; I could make him rich. I also had skills, and I knew I could contribute. I wasn’t from a rich home either. I had struggled to pay my university fees, and I graduated with a first-class degree. Education was my ticket, my promise of a better lifeÄ.

A month into the relationship, he told me he had children with other women. He said he had made mistakes in the past but was now a changed man. “As long as you are a changed man, we are good to go.”

I was 28. My religion put marriage above everything, and I felt the pressure. I wanted to be married by 28, have my first child before 30. There was a script in my diary; I couldn’t deviate. So one day, I brought up marriage. He agreed to it, and six months later, we were legally married in a small ceremony, nothing extravagant, just love flying in the air.

At first, we moved into his parents’ house after the wedding. Then eventually, we had to rent our own place, which his siblings helped fund because we hadn’t saved enough. It was embarrassing, but I stayed. The dream was at the end of the tunnel, so I kept my eyes on it.

Around that time, he wrote a script for a television series. He was the main actor, and I became Production Manager. We were Executive Producers together. It was hard work with barely any resources, but we pushed through. And we got the show to be broadcast on a popular television station.

In the heat of all this, I got pregnant and gave birth to a healthy boy, and my presence on set gradually reduced. I had a baby to care for and a new job that allowed me to bring him along. The job helped supplement our household income. Slowly, we were getting by.

One day, he brought a set assistant home. “The woman has nowhere to sleep, can she stay here?” I agreed and treated her like family because, if you think about it, she was.

But one day, I went to set. It was meant to be a ta-da moment, only to discover my actor husband was sharing a room with her. Apparently, everyone on set knew except me. When I confronted him, of course he lied about it, but I didn’t back down until he handed the truth to me.

“You need to stop working with her, that’s all.” He called me wicked for saying that. I asked why. He retorted, “Can’t you see the poor girl needs help?” We never settled the matter, and it didn’t help matters because now he was cheating in my face, with no care in the world that I was his wife, or at least the mother of his child. There was a tingling pain in my chest every time I thought about it, so I tried, so much, to not think about it.

A few weeks later, she was in our home again. I was willing to put up a fight when he crossed me. “She’s staying, that’s all.” I had no choice but to agree. That morning, I left my husband and his girlfriend in my marital home.

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I realized he had never changed. Everything I had endured, everything I had sacrificed, had been wasted. He had different goals, to be a sperm bank. I, too, had different goals, that is, to roar. So I packed my belongings while he was out and went to my mother’s house. I didn’t do it in his presence because I knew he wouldn’t allow it.

He came to my mother’s house the next day. He put up a show, pleaded, he kneeled, he wept more than Jesus did. Don’t worry, I didn’t move a step back to the place we called home.

Months later, I received a scholarship for my master’s degree. From there, my life transformed. I traveled, worked, built a house, bought a car, and saved enough to invest. I filed for divorce and finally closed that chapter of my life.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

My ex-husband’s life hasn’t changed much. He continues the same pattern, one woman, then the next. But I realized life is shaped by the choices we make. Leaving him was the best decision I’ve ever made.

I share my story as a warning and a lesson. Recognize when a situation doesn’t serve you. Don’t stay for fear, pressure, or tradition. You might lose yourself. I chose myself, and my life has been completely transformed. Always choose yourself.

—Sophie

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