Our story began in 2025 during my national service. We were in the same community development service, and I spotted her when the newly posted corps members were asked to introduce themselves. I tried talking to her, but I didn’t have the courage to approach her. She was so sophisticated, and I was intimidated by her aura.

Every day, I saw her my feelings grew stronger. One day, when I grew tired of the hide-and-seek I was playing with my own feelings, I tracked her contact in one of our group chats and texted her. Strangely, she didn’t ignore me when I introduced myself and explained why I was texting. She agreed to be my friend..

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She was interested in my day, just as I was in hers. At camp, after service, what happened, and what she wanted to do in the long run.

There were days I would wake up to a good morning text from her, and at night, I sometimes fell asleep with her voice in my ears. I found every conversation with her exciting and enlightening. When I quickly realized that our future plans aligned. I proposed to her, and she gracefully declined.

“Let’s keep being friends and see where it goes,” she said.

I understood and accepted the option she offered me.

But our routine continued, we talked into the nights, we shared moments and days doting on each other as if were couples. Times when she needed my help, I quickly jumped to assist her.

She would tell me about her electricity issues and how because of that she couldn’t get on a call with me, and I would run to her place with a power bank and a whole lot more.

Like warmth slowly turning cold, she started give me attitudes. If I called her in the morning, she wouldn’t call me back. I would call again in the evening before going to bed, but she would refuse to pick up. Sometimes, she wouldn’t call until the next day. She always had an excuse. I told her, “No problem, as long as you call me.”

Weeks after we had that talk, she went back to her old ways and stopped picking up my calls. Sometimes, she rejected them. The phone would ring, then suddenly show busy. Busy talking to whom?

I would text her, pouring my heart out. No doubt, I liked her but our friendship meant a lot to me, and losing her would feel like heartbreak, even though we were not dating.

In a long message, I expressed myself, open and vulnerable. I pleaded with her to be truthful with me. Just talk to me.

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But ever since I sent that message, she has not replied or called. I even called the next day, but still no response.

So I have decided to move on and give her space. If she valued our friendship, she might reach out. If not, we would go our separate ways.

I don’t know what I did wrong. Did the message I sent change everything? Is it bad to express how I feel to a close friend? Or is she just testing me, intentionally denying me her attention?

—Jay

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