We had dated for six months when he told me he was working his way toward a big opportunity. He said it with so much pride and glee on his face that I figured it was truly big. I was happy that he was happy. When you are in love, all you want is happiness and grace for your partner.

He didn’t give much information about what the big news was. Six months later, on a hot Saturday afternoon, he told me he was travelling. I stayed quiet on the phone. “I am travelling on Monday, just this week Monday. That is the big news.” I wondered what was so big about travelling until it hit me, and I asked, “Where are you travelling to?” He said the USA. You can imagine how I felt hearing such news at the last minute.

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I went mute, trying to understand what he had just said. We had been together for a year. We had loved each other, seen each other’s nakedness, and counselled each other. So what was the need to hide such big news from me?

He is doing well for himself in Ghana. While others struggle to get a job, he has one that pays well. He doesn’t have crazy money. Of course, he is not living in luxury. When we speak of wealth, he does not possess much of it. Nonetheless, he is living a comfortable life.

When I asked why he didn’t tell me earlier, he gave a flimsy excuse. He said he was not even supposed to tell anyone about the trip because his family advised him not to disclose it, so apart from his family, I was the only person who knew. He said he had told a friend before telling me, and the friend was happy for him. He then wondered why I was not happy for him too. I felt that comparing his friend’s reaction to mine was unfair.

He proposed a long-distance relationship. Do I have the energy and capacity for one? Maybe I do. But the man I want to do it with is a keeper. He keeps secrets and hides them from me until he is certain. From what I have gathered through life experience, those kinds of people would leave you in the desert and leave you hanging. So I do not think it is worth the risk. Someone who thinks springing this up on me in the last few days before his trip is acceptable.

He thinks I am overreacting to the news of his travel. That I am ignoring him and not screaming up and down for this great thing the Lord has done for him. But it is more than that, more than he thinks.

I Left Him Because He Didn’t Help In The Kitchen

He has not once mentioned to me that he wanted to travel. Maybe if he had, I would have rethought building a relationship with him. These people travel and give you empty promises while they are there, making grand declarations about love and commitment that ultimately lead to disappointment and heartache. They talk to you about marriage and a good life with you until one day you realise it is all but a scam.

I am counting my days to when it will happen, but until then I am sulking. I am demanding answers why I was the last to know, when I should have been his priority. He thinks I am overreacting, that it is a woman thing.

—Dinah

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