In the 3 years we have been together, Ayisha has been perfect. She was my home, my friend. She had this sweet personality around her that even her students loved. Even her infectious smile was hard to miss.

Nonetheless, the sweet smile and woman that she is doesn’t erase the darkness in her inner being.

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Like the first time I went through her phone. She was in the bathroom while she was still holding a conversation with me about one of her students. We are both teachers, and so usually we talked about work, the curriculum, the students and whatnot. I was responding to her question while I stretched my hands to pick up her phone on the bed.

My eyes widened in shock after I typed in the search bar ” I love you”. She was entertaining men, openly flirty with them. Her response to these men and our conversations were different. A good difference. It was a big slap to my face. I should have ended there, but I continued to listen to the voicenotes they had exchanged. Some included her faking moans to the said man. When it got too much to bear, I left her phone on the bed and went to meet her in the bathroom.

That alone was suicidal. I should have waited for her to come out. It didn’t end well. We didn’t get to talk about anything. I folded to the desires.

Regardless, I heard her side of the story. It was flimsy, thinking about it now, but then it made sense. That one isn’t my problem. The problem is how and the reason she gave me when I wanted to give her a promise ring. Because of this, my very core as a man is broken, shattered into pieces, and she wonders how behind all this sweet face children see as Madam Ayisha is really dark in her heart. A very cunning teacher.

That day was her birthday. She was neatly dressed, and when she came out of the room, oh my heart, I fell in love with her again. You see the kind of lip combo girls have been doing these past years and a very beautiful dress, not too skimpy, not too tight.

I did a sign of the cross as I pulled the seat for her, thanking God that I bagged a good one.

“Ayisha, what if I gave you a promise ring right now?”

She first smiled and chewed the morsel of food first before she answered me. “Eh, and you can you afford a promise ring?” and she laughed. Hmmm

My heart first dropped in my stomach. Before I could say anything she continued, “I deserve better. You can’t just give me any ring because of anything oo. You need to make money first.” Those were the words of heartbreak on that beautiful night that enveloped me. I watched her lips go up and down and I could barely hear any word she spewed.

I need to make money first? I have money. Nothing to boast of but it pays the bills, buys her the things she needs when she asks for, and puts food on the table. Maybe we both have a different definition of what rich means.

I asked her what she meant by that. She responded, “Your chamber and hall isn’t exactly what I see in my future.”

“What do you see in the future?” She couldn’t answer that one.

I live in a chamber-and-hall contained apartment. I haven’t fully furnished it. I’m taking it one step at a time. Tomorrow I buy a sofa; next month I will buy a wardrobe. Grow small. I was not born with a silver spoon, so this is a great achievement for me.

The same girl who doesn’t think a chamber and hall contained is in her destiny stays in a room with her mother. The difference is clear, but she really gets to talk down on me for not being enough for her.

That evening, my happiness and the future with her was corrupted. My heart is in pain because of how deeply I have invested in her, in her looks, in her life, in her personality. My heart is shattered because I’m deeply perturbed about how she is able to say this to me. Mainly because I have wanted to be her all along. But the realisation that she doesn’t see me as worthy is abandonment.

Her utterances were unkind. I even regretted asking her a simple question as that, but maybe I should be grateful that it revealed the wolf behind the sheep clothing.

I Left Him Because He Didn’t Help In The Kitchen

This is the kind of woman who would have left me at the first sight of trouble and called me a lazy man and everything dehumanising.

You have heard it before. What can I do? My heart and head aches so terribly. It feels like I’m dying small small. How can I unlove Madam Ayisha? Or even get her to reason with me?

#SB<>

—Lucy

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