My first day at work felt strange, like being a new student joining a school in the middle of the term. Everyone already had their people and inside jokes I didn’t get. I felt eyes on my outfit, my lunch, even my shoes. Then, one of the men in the office caught my eye.

He was the first person to ever compliment me there. “You smell nice,” he said. If you know, you know—being complimented on your scent is one of the most pleasant things ever. It makes you feel seen. Human. Later, he told me he was happy to see me, with a smile that actually felt warm. After that, we just started talking.

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He moved in certain ways, the way a man does when he likes you. I understood what he meant when he tucked my hair behind my ear. Between conversations, he’d lick his lips, or his eyes would linger on mine. I concluded he was one of the playboys, a woman’s man. Self-aware of his charm, and it showed in how he carried himself.

I knew all about his type. I’d heard the stories. The ones who promise love and leave you with a child, scars, trauma, and then disappear. The ones who make you hit the gym after the breakup. I knew he was a Mike. I knew his kind. But I couldn’t stop thinking about him after that first conversation. He filled my mind while I was just going about my day. It felt warm.

We started following each other on social media, which made it easier to, well, keep up with him in a harmless way. I could check where he went on weekends, see his photos from before I joined the office. Then he started commenting on my pictures. Not once, but a few times. It mesmerized me.

Then, I got a text from him: “Can I see you after work today?” I read it over and over. Another message followed, saying it was a matter of life and death. So I agreed.

We talked about his business. He’d made an investment that went wrong and lost millions. “You’re the only one who came to mind that I could speak freely to,” he said. While I was trying to soothe and encourage him, I felt his mouth on mine. He kissed me.

It happened again. A few weeks later he came to see me, this time all clingy. I asked him why, and he started confessing. He said he’d had deep feelings for me for months, that he tried to ignore them but they wouldn’t go away.

He keeps stealing kisses from me. Sometimes he calls it casual talk, but before we part, he takes one. Sometimes he goes quiet, then returns. Sometimes he sleeps at my place, not for the whole night, just an hour or two.

The signal here is mixed. He says he understands if I don’t want anything with him, and I’ve told him I don’t want anything that isn’t leading to marriage, at least not anytime soon.

But what’s confusing me is this: am I naive? Is my heart deceiving me? Is this guy serious about me, or does he only miss me when it’s convenient? Is he taking advantage of my kindness? Because he hasn’t dared to ask me to be his girlfriend. Am I just a fling to him?

I’m honestly confused, because I like him.

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And now, I find myself jealous when he talks to other coworkers. What is he saying to them? Is he turning to them because I’m holding back? If I was your sister, would you advise me to date my coworker? I can always find another job, but love like this, where you feel like you’re the only one who matters… that’s harder to find.

—Cara

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