Sometime in 2012, I was in junior high school, Form 1. My days were simple. After school, I was always at home, watching TV, playing with the boys in the neighbourhood, staying in my uniform, and eating the snacks from the fridge.

It was like that because of the work my mama did. She was not the typical housewife you would meet when you came back from school. Sometimes she returned home late in the evening. At the time, we were living in a rented compound house with about five other tenants.

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In that house, there was another single parent who had a girl staying with her. She was in class 5. Just like my mother, her mother was the busy kind of woman. Sometimes, her mother even followed my mom on their travels. When that happened, the girl stayed with me for some days. It could be three days, it could be two, or longer till they came back. Having that kind of mother makes you independent faster, so I knew how to cook and how to care for the house. Most of those days, we were sorted when it came to food.

The truth is, I was a teenage boy who had just hit puberty, curiosity, and everything that comes with it. The pubic hairs, the rebellion, the massive growth, the feeling that came with being in your adolescent years. I had it, and I wore it like a crown. Sometimes I had wet dreams. Sometimes I had the urge to do the adult things. I started watching adult films, the ones that made me turn off the TV when I heard noise at the window or footsteps, because it was not good.

So, one day, like one of the many days, my mama had travelled alongside her mom, so she came to our room. I did not hear her come in. I could have turned it off. I was watching the film when she came, but I did not stop in time.

I was already in my feelings, and I started playing with her and telling her naughty stuff. Somehow, I convinced her, and we even ended up watching it together. What was more surprising was the fact that it was not her first time watching, which shocked me.

We ended up naked, touching each other’s parts, just following what was being done in the video. But we did not go all the way. In fact, I tried, but I could not. That is why.

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It became our usual routine anytime she came over to spend the night. The moment our parents went out, it was OUR day. We would kiss, touch each other, and do everything we watched from the videos, except for going all the way.

It was good while it lasted, until one day, they packed out and moved away to another area. We also moved out into our own house that my mum built. I had not heard from her since then.

Then, in 2023, I met her again at a church youth programme. Honestly, I should have recognized her, but I failed. She had changed completely in a very good way. She was short in nature before, not too big, not too small, but now she was much taller and very thick, with a heavy backside. She told me her name before I recognised her. I screamed in admiration when I finally did.

I was a little busy at the program, so I could not talk to her again or get her contact. But when I returned home, I asked my mum to call her mum to ask for her contact. What I got was news of the life she was living. I was told she was now in SHS and living a very lackadaisical lifestyle. Every day, boys. She breathed boys every day.

Fast forward to last year, I heard she got pregnant while preparing for WASSCE. She even gave birth a month or two after her papers.

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The thing is, sometimes I think about everything and I feel, I think, I hear my spirit tell me that I am partly to be blamed for her turning out like that. She was just an innocent girl who was asked to stay with me, and I took advantage of her.

I wish to make things right. I wish to go see her and apologize.
Sometimes too, I wish to make her mine and change her, to correct my wrongs. I was 12 years old at that time.

—Martin

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