I drove my wife out of the house three weeks ago. I was angry and could not understand why she would not correct a mistake we had fought about for over seven months. I do not want to go into details, but it was about another man. She denied every accusation I leveled against her even when it was so obvious, to me, that was what she was doing.
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So the last time we fought about the same issue, I packed her things and threw them out. I was not leaving her. I was teaching her a lesson. I was telling her if she did not want to amend her ways, she could not live under the same roof with me. She left with our two children, and for three weeks I have not heard from her again, except that I call her mom and speak with the kids.
Just yesterday, I discovered that I had gotten everything wrong. She was telling the truth, and I was the one fighting a battle that did not exist. I put all my ego aside and called her to come home so we could address the issue. She would not pick up my call, so I called her through her mother’s phone. She told me, “I would be the biggest fool if I ever live under the same roof with you again.”
Her mother has spoken with her, and other elders have also put their word in, but my wife says never again. The next thing she did was call my parents to ask them when they would be home so she could return the dowry drink and call off the marriage officially. We have not gotten that far. I believe we can rescue this marriage because nothing is broken beyond repair. How do I bring her mind home? At least, if it is me she hates, she should consider the kids and let us work things out again.
What do I say? What else should I do? Who should I engage to speak on my behalf? What do I tell her to make her see the need to come back home?
—Arthur
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I would have done same if I were in her shoes. Take the lesson. You do not eat your cake and have it!
Every day if its not the kids then its the devil. Where were the children when you threw her belongings out erh. Go to her family with yours and kneel and appologise to her properly and stop the phone calls strategy. If you are lucky she may reconsider. All the best. Am sure you will never treat her badly again after this.
Go to her in person. Kneel if Need be and grovel at her feet. Tell her about your insecurity. Work on yourself. Take her out as a friend and speak to her as such. Start all over again. If you have doubts ask her. Trust your wife because if she had any bad character you wouldn’t have married her.