When I was dating my husband, there was one thing I realized about him. He was so obsessed with my past and kept asking me questions about my past. At first, I didn’t like it but when we dated for a while and saw through his intentions, I became relaxed and answered all his questions about my past honestly. I had no reason to lie but questions I wasn’t comfortable with, I told him point blank that I wasn’t comfortable.

That’s how come he came to know my three immediate exes. I told him everything about them because they were the people I dated for a very long time. The guy I left before I met my husband was Diego. Nothing happened between us. We didn’t fight and we didn’t quarrel. He traveled outside and decided to ghost me. I was hurt when I realized he was chatting with friends but ignored my chat. Four months after traveling, I wasn’t hearing from him, though I saw his post on Facebook and on Instagram. I felt disrespected so I cut contact with him. I remember I even blocked him on Facebook.

After giving my husband, who was then my boyfriend all this information, he asked me, “Do you still have feelings for him?” I thought it was childish for him to ask that but I answered anyway, “I should have feelings for him after he had taken me through all these emotions? Hell no!” He asked again, “So if he comes from abroad right now and he still wants you, won’t you run to him?” I told him, “Please ask another question. I’m not a child to fall back on what once hurt me.”

We dated for two years and later got married. On our honeymoon, I was asleep when he tapped me that my phone was ringing. I told him, “Please tell the one calling not to disturb.” I turned around and continued sleeping. The next morning, I realized his mood had changed. I tried all I could to get him to even smile at me, he never did. That got me wondering; “What did I say wrong? What did I do to deserve this cold attitude from this man on our honeymoon?” Then it occurred to me that I made him picked my call. “Who called and what did the person say?”

I picked my phone and checked the name of the caller. It was my ex—the immediate one. Diego. I hadn’t saved his number and looking at the call log, his call was a missed call. That means he didn’t talk to him so what was making him act that cold? I spent all day trying to get him to talk until later in the evening he said, “So your ex is in town and the two of you have been talking.” I asked, “My ex? What are you talking about?” He said, “Last night he was the one calling. Why was he calling you at that time?” I asked myself, “But how did he know it was Diego? I hadn’t saved his number? “

Then he said, “When he was calling, I wanted to text him and tell him to call tomorrow instead of picking the call. I tapped the number and went into the messaging app and realized you two had been talking for the last two months.” I said, “Yeah, he contacted me when he came back. But if you read our chats very well, you’ll realize I was putting him off. So why should you be angry because of that?” “But why didn’t you tell me he was in town? Why didn’t you tell me he was talking to you if you two had nothing to hide?” He blurted. I asked, “Seriously, what do you mean cos I can’t understand what you are saying.”

He went on and on with it, getting angrier each minute. It was our honeymoon so I didn’t want to spoil the fun and vibe. I apologized to him and even asked him what I should do for him to know that I was deeply sorry. That day, we talked about a lot of things where I assured him that I would tell him everything if he so desires, even if someone stopped me on the way and asked me a question, I would tell him about it. He got relaxed and later came around. Apart from that incident, we had a very wonderful honeymoon.

We returned from our honeymoon and I realized some changes in my system. For a whole month, I felt uneasy and somewhat sick. My period delayed so I checked and realized I was pregnant. I remember how happy both of us were about the pregnancy. It became the topic of our days as the weeks rolled by. We picked a name and betted on the day it would be born. He said, “It would be a Monday born, just like me. I said, “No, a Wednesday born just like me.” He said, “We did the thing in the afternoon so definitely it’s going to resemble me.” I asked, “How did you know it was the afternoon one that made it happen?”

We had a lot of fun predicting the future until our baby was born. A boy, who looked nothing like me or my husband. Maybe he had his father’s color. I am fair and the baby wasn’t. On his first birthday, we had a party for him. While going through the photos my husband said, “How can my son not resemble me? And the surprising thing is, he doesn’t resemble you too so who did he pick after?” I thought he was joking. Another day he said, “Or we picked the wrong baby from the hospital? We better look for answers ooo before it’s too late.”

One of our mutual friends gave birth and she sent me the photo of her baby. I showed it to my husband and he said, “You see how the baby resembles the father? It’s a girl but you clearly see the image of her father in her. How come ours doesn’t resemble any of us?” I didn’t take him seriously because I thought he was still on the joke about picking the wrong baby from the hospital. One day, I watched his phone while he scrolled and I realized he was going through the Instagram page of my ex, looking at his pictures. Not too long afterward, he said jovially, “If I had the money, I would have conducted a paternity test paaa on my kid cos this one is baffling.”

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Then I got the link. “Is this man suspecting I cheated on him with my ex?” So, I asked him and he said, “We live in a crazy world. Anything at all can happen. He was calling you on our honeymoon, remember?” Saying I was shocked would be an understatement. I asked, “So all this while, that has been your thought? Is that how low you think of me, the woman you got wedded to? Go ahead. Do a DNA test if you may. After you get the results, I will also give you my results.” He got angry and I got angry. He said his mind and I told him my mind. Two weeks later, we were still not talking to each other.

I felt he owed me an apology but that apology never came so I had to approach him and pretend nothing hurts. Since then, I’ve seen a lot of changes in him. He barely looks at our son. When he fell and was on the floor crying, he ignored him until I came to pick him up. I cried. He paid his fees three terms ago and he hasn’t paid again. He’ll tell me, “I don’t have money. Pay and I’ll refund.” He never refunded a penny. Nothing about our child concerns him anymore and it’s affecting the way the two of us relate to each other.

I’m not going to complain to him any longer. I’m saving money. One day I’ll get a DNA’s worth of money and conduct the test. I’ll give him the results and walk away and I swear it would be the last time he would see my son. And whatever happens, when this child grows up, I will tell him everything that happened. I hope he would be a man enough to forgive his father. If he doesn’t, it wouldn’t be my fault. Hurt people hurt people and I’m ready to make him pay for everything he has done to me and our son.

–Bee

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