I met Adaobi last October at my friend’s Sadaki ceremony in Enugu. She was graceful and soft-spoken, with eyes that held both beauty and mystery. I am turning 30 soon, and she is 24. Some say that is a perfect age gap. The moment our eyes met, something in me shifted. That was love at first sight, no doubt in my heart.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

From that day, I pursued her with all seriousness. I was not looking for just a girlfriend. I wanted something lasting. I told her my intentions clearly, no games. To my joy, she accepted. We have been together ever since. We have not moved in together, but every moment we share, especially when things are good between us, feels like heaven on earth.

On the 1st of March, in front of my siblings, I proposed to her. She said yes. That day, I was on cloud nine.

But lately, my heart has not been at rest.

Adaobi has been sending mixed signals. When we met, she was quiet about her past. I was open. I told her about my own past experiences. But she stayed silent about hers, and I respected that. Until one day, I found something online that changed everything. I discovered she was once in a serious relationship with Kelechi, a well-known local celebrity.

When I asked her, she sat me down to give me the full details.

READ FULL STORY: My Ex Is Back With A Prophesy to Collect What He Asked Me to Abort

She told me they met at the University of Lagos and started dating right after graduation. They were together for three years. They made investments together and even bought a car.

Their families knew each other, and they were already discussing bride price and marriage. But everything fell apart when Kelechi started living a fast life. He was with different women everywhere, having children outside. Everywhere he went, he opened zips. That was how their relationship ended. According to her, “It was messy and very dramatic.”

Now I understand why her family has not welcomed me. In April, we planned for me to meet her people. But it did not happen because her younger brother told his mother before we could make an official announcement.

Her mum called and gave her a serious warning. She even threatened to disown her if she brought a new man home. She told Adaobi, “If you want to have another man, then go and find another mother. As far as I am concerned, I do not want to meet any son in law.”

That day, Adaobi cried so much. The only thing we held onto was our love. She said, “I love you. That is what matters.” But deep down, I was very much afraid to lose her.

You see, Adaobi is very close to her mother. Too close. One day, she even told me, “I can worship any god my mother worships.” That statement has never left my mind. The thing is, I have not met a single member of her family. Meanwhile, she already knows my siblings and has even spoken to my mother.

Last week, something happened that broke me.

I overheard her talking to a friend on the phone. She did not know I was nearby. She said, “When emotions are deeply involved, it takes forever to get over someone.” That one pain me die, it confirmed my worst fear. That I might be the rebound, the one she is using to heal.

Does Marriage Benefit Men More Than Women?

We have been having issues. When we are on calls and someone else calls her, she cuts my call without even saying sorry. Later, she will say, “It was a cousin, or mummy.” She always puts her family before me. I understand respecting family. I am Nigerian, after all. But this one pains me.

When she has problems, she does not talk to me. She prefers her “important circle,” as she calls them. Meanwhile, I am here giving my heart fully. I have never loved anyone the way I love Adaobi. Never. But this uncertainty, this emotional distance, it is tearing me apart.

So now, I am in a serious dilemma.

Do I stay and keep loving her, hoping she heals and truly chooses me? Or do I walk away before I completely lose myself?

Because truth be told, I hate wasting time. But I also hate giving up on someone I love. Please, my people, what should I do?

—Ugo

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>