I am in my early twenties. I finished school less than a year ago, and I am currently not working. I have dated a few times. It never mattered to me whether the guy had money or not. I care more about character.

But sometimes I hear my friends talk about the gifts their partners give them. I do not get jealous, but I do wish I could be that lucky sometimes. I know everyone’s situation is different.

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When I ask my parents for something, they will give it to me if they have it. If they do not, then I am on my own. Because of this, I have been saving. I want to start a business one day to take care of my siblings and parents.

I know relationships are not about material things. But I think about my life and see I have never been spoilt by a man. I have never even been surprised with 100 GHS. I am not the type to ask my man for money. If I know he is coming over, I use my own money to buy food and cook for us. My love language is giving. I like to gift the person I am with.

I hear stories of men who go out of their way to provide for their ladies. But my own case is different.

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There is a man; he is 30. He seems to have good character and talks about wanting a virtuous woman. When we started talking, everything was fine. Later, he called me three different times. He said he had emergencies and needed money. I gave him small loans. He never paid them back. I did not mind because the amounts were not much.

He once promised to get me something worth about 70 GHS. Six months later, I had to remind him of something he promised me. He complained that I do not understand his situation and that he has no money. On my special days, I have never been gifted anything. But I always show up for him on his big days. He is currently not working and says he has many bills to pay. Because of that, I do not even tell him when I have an emergency. I already know the answer.

I tried to suggest that we save small amounts together for emergencies, but it did not work.

So here I am, wondering. Am I overthinking? Am I stressing him out? Or am I showing signs of entitlement?

What do you think?

—Vanessa

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