My girlfriend is playing some games that are very hurtful to my heart. I have tried to understand her so I can turn her affections back to me but I can’t even make sense of anything she is doing. I admit that our relationship has been very unstable from the beginning.

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Now to my love life, I

We fought a lot. And when we fought, we broke up. This on-and-off went on until three months ago when we broke up again. This time around we almost didn’t get back together. It was the thought of losing her that straightened me up.

When we spoke again I told her, “No more games. No more breakups. I want us to take the relationship seriously. Everything we do now is our future.”

She agreed and we started everything afresh. Things were good after we had that talk. We no longer fought as much. On the occasion that we did, we did not break up. It was all very nice and peaceful, then she stopped picking up my calls.

The first time it happened was a month ago. I called her for a whole week, but she didn’t pick up. Rather, she texted me that she would call me back. It was unlike her to miss my calls. Even if she was in the middle of work, she would talk to me. Her sudden unavailability made me suspicious.

I finally heard from her when she came to visit me. She said she has been busy. “Busy with what? Another man?”

“I assure you that there is no other man. You are my one and all. I have just been caught up with some stuff lately, that’s all.” I didn’t believe her.

The next Monday, I called her again, but she didn’t pick up the whole day. In the evening, I kept calling. Finally, a man picked up. “Hello, may I speak to the owner of the phone?” I didn’t want there to be any misunderstanding so I added, “She is my girlfriend.”

“Dede is my girlfriend too,” the man responded, “We’ve been dating for three months now.”

Three months ago was when we got back together after our last breakup. Why did she come to me if she had another man? I had questions but Dede was nowhere to give me answers. I didn’t hear from her for two whole weeks.

When I finally got hold of her on the phone, she told me she accepted the other man’s proposal because I had hurt her deeply during our last fight. She claimed she’s now in love with him. I couldn’t believe it.

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Love? How could she love a man who’s over 40 years old and is 17 years older than her?

If she didn’t love me anymore, why was she still with me, giving me attention, and having sex marathons with me? According to the other man, it was difficult to get her to visit him. Which means, until she stopped picking up my calls, I was getting more of her than the other man was.

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Now she wants us to meet somewhere to talk without the man’s knowledge. Why? She accepted my invitation to come to my place to talk but she has yet to show up. When we fix a date, she postpones, what could be the reason?

Am I supposed to accept that the relationship is over and let the other man have her? Or is there a chance I can win her back? I am just trying to understand her behaviour.

—Edudzi

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