I met this girl sometime in May. I used a very sharp pickup line, and she laughed so hard. When I asked for her number, she said, “Why don’t you give your number to me instead? I will text you when I get home.”

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I gave her my number, but I ended up waiting for a text that didn’t come through my phone that night. The next day too, no show. By the time the month ended, I had given up hope of hearing from her.

Then in August, I got a WhatsApp message from someone saying, “I’m the girl you met sometime in May. Do you remember me?”

Of course, I remembered the person who laughed hard at my pick-up line. I just wasn’t sure she was the same person. It took me a whole day to come to the decision that I would engage whoever it was.

Lo and behold, it was really her! I was happy to finally hear from her but I was also a bit sceptical. Why would she suddenly remember me after three whole months of silence?

She told me she prefers calls to texts. I thought it was perfect because I also do. For the next two days, we talked a lot on the phone—long, exciting, and interesting conversations. I felt it was the start of something new and beautiful. I even started saying to myself, “After patiently waiting for her, my love has found her way to me and she is here to stay. It really pays to wait.”

That excitement fizzled out as fast as it started. I don’t remember the last time we had a solid conversation again. She doesn’t answer my calls. She takes forever to reply to my texts.

I don’t understand why she contacted me with the enthusiasm of a woman who is in love, only to go cold on me after two deep conversations. Should I confront her about it, or I should match her energy and leave her alone.

Me sef I be fine boy. Women have told me I am hot and handsome. I have options. If she hadn’t been inconsistent, she would have known for herself that I sabi night mission. I can please a woman in bed. But she has chosen to be distant, so that’s her loss. I won’t keep double-texting her while she takes forever to respond to my messages. I am not a simp.

Hmm… but if she starts responding to my messages faster and the phone conversations resume, I will sing glory be to God.

—Emmanuel 

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