I am married to a man who feels like the best thing that has ever happened to me. It didn’t happen so easily. I was carrying trauma from my past when we met. He had to be patient for me to get to a place where I felt safe with him.

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I had never felt safe around any man since I was eight years old and my half-brother abused me. It happened twice. At first, I was afraid to speak about it. I was sure no one would believe me.

Truly, when I finally found the courage to speak up, my dad called me a liar. It was only my mother who believed me. The fact that my own father acted as if I made up a horrible experience just to get attention made me lose faith in men.

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I went through life guarded and ready to fight off any man who came near me. When I got to an age where my friends were dating, I was often left out. I didn’t know how to relax around guys. Falling in love was out of the question. Even the thought of having intimacy, was a complete turn off. I hated sex.

All of that changed when I met Joey. There was something about him that made me believe I could trust him. I fell in love for the first time. I told myself that if we got married, I would surrender all of myself to him. Easier said than done.

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On our wedding night, I couldn’t let him touch me. I was too scared, but he was patient. He didn’t rush me. I had already opened up to him about my past, and to this day, I don’t regret doing that.

He gave me time to heal. He walked me through forgiving my past and letting go of my pain. This is how I knew he is my safe space. It’s been eight years since we got married. He showers me with so much love that I am constantly glowing. He has taught me that not all men will hurt me. Marrying him is my best decision ever!

—Stefanie

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