When I turned 40, I made a hard decision, and that decision was to live without a family. I didn’t want children, and I didn’t want marriage, so I chose to walk alone and do life on my own terms. I’ve been living according to that plan ever since, and now I’m 47.
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When I say I have no child lurking somewhere, I mean it with certainty because I have no wife and not even a steady relationship. The mystery of it all is how shocking it feels, especially because growing up, I had dreams like any other boy, and I wanted to be a husband and a father—the kind who builds a happy home.
Somewhere along the way, life took a different turn, and the idea of marriage started to feel like a trap, while fatherhood made me deeply uncomfortable. I didn’t start hating women, but I began to detest the whole idea of settling down, and that changed everything.
I’ve dated over 400 women, and yes, I counted them, but only two ever claimed to be pregnant, and both said they got rid of it although I honestly think they were lying. After that, no woman has ever come to me with a pregnancy, and no one has ever said, “I’m pregnant, and you’re the father,” which is strange because I don’t use protection.
It’s as if the absence of a dream to become a father somehow shaped my reality, and whenever I imagine a home with a wife in the kitchen and kids running around, I feel nothing—not joy, not longing, just emptiness.
Sometimes I think maybe I should get someone pregnant just to say I have a child, but the truth is that the idea of being a father turns me off completely, and I can’t pretend otherwise.
It gets awkward when people ask, “Are you married? Do you have kids?” and I say no, which is always followed by pity and suggestions like, “At least have one child,” as if that would fix something inside me.
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My longest relationship lasted two years, and the next one only lasted three months, while the rest were nothing but countless moments of sex without feelings, without plans, and without a future. That’s the way it has always gone, and right now, I don’t even want commitment because I don’t love, I don’t want marriage, and I just want to enjoy myself with every woman I find attractive.
That is my truth, and whether it’s normal or not doesn’t matter because it’s my reality.
And then the question comes. What happens after that? What will the consequences be for a man who grows old without marriage and without a child?
—Joseph
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But… Who even named you Joseph???
Hahaha…what has his name got to do with his reality?…am 37, no child, and can’t say what my next move is…
Before I had my daughter thought I was incapable of love and being a mother. She has brought so much love and stability in my life that every time I count my blessings, I count her twice.
Give marriage and fatherhood a chance and you’ll love it
Don’t feel pressured to live your life according to anyone’s rules. The reality is that we will all get old and frail as we age until we say a final goodbye. It means that at a point you will need help and normally people who you have nurtured and bonded with will offer it. You may also buy such help through an insurance scheme while you are able to earn some money. The decision is yours. All the best.
The end result us loneliness and emptiness.
Be patient and peacefully enjoy what growing old without marriage or children bring just as you are enjoying the current solitude and sexual promiscuity.
Posterity is a good judge