Kumi and I are in a long-distance relationship. We did everything possible to keep the love fresh and alive over the past two years. Our marriage ceremony is just around the corner. Specifically, two months from now?
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“I can’t believe we are finally doing this,” I would say to myself with excitement, “everything we’ve been through has led us to this moment.”
I was sure that our love was true as the day it began. Little did I know that my fiancé was dating another woman on the side. I found out recently.
I am completely broken. I trusted him so much, how can I ever move past this? He keeps telling me to forgive him and that he will change. I want to believe him but I don’t see him the same way anymore. Everything I once believed about our relationship feels like a lie.
I remember all the promises we made to each other and I ask myself if I have been living in a fool’s paradise all this while. How did I miss all the signs until now?
He wants a second chance but who wants to start a life with a man who has been cursed? That’s right, the lady he was dating also just found out he is getting married. She is not taking it lightly at all. She’s cursing him left, right, centre. There’s a whole lot of drama around our upcoming marriage because of her.
Everything feels messed up. My family wants me to go ahead with the marriage. They say if I cancel it we will be the talk of the town and it will be a disgrace to the family. I tell them I am not sure I want to marry a man who has broken my trust.
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“People make mistakes,” they respond, “sometimes all they need is an opportunity to right their wrongs. We know Kumi. He is a good man. He will change if you marry him.”
Kumi also keeps apologising. My heart is broken but everyone keeps acting as if I should just shake it off and carry on with our plans. I don’t know what to do.
—Amanda
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I also hope he changes but i don’t see it coming. A leopard cannot change its spot. He is only sorry because you have found him out. What was his reason seeing another woman when you have marriage just around the corner? How is that even a mistake? If you ignore this and the threat from his gf just for fear what people will say, are you prepared to live with a cheat to the rest of your life? Your peace of mind and mental health matter, not what people say. But the choice is entirely yours, may God help you.
“We know Kumi, he’s a good man, he will change”. What do they want the ‘good man’ to change into? This is how families push people into traps even against their will all in the name of ‘avoiding disgrace’.
If you want a perfect man then you’ll never marry. Love is the key; if you still love him, then give him a second chance.
The red flags are staring you right in the face, but you’re choosing to ignore them. Continue with the marriage and it’s his secret children and baby mamas that you’ll be finding out about.