If I marry the mother of my child, I will be embracing a very dull life. When I say dull, I am not even using the word loosely. The only thing we talk about is home issues and occasionally, some family matters. Most of the time I end up spending time on my phone just to keep myself occupied. That’s not how I want to spend the rest of my life.
READ ALSO: I Have Everything In This Marriage Except Happiness
She knows how I feel about the lack of depth in our conversations. I have spoken to her several times about it. I have encouraged her by constantly buying her internet data.
“Go online. Keep up with the times. Even if the news is too boring for you to follow, watch social media content so that we can have something to talk about.”
She tells me she will do it but she never does. Every time I come from work, the only thing we discuss is our nineteen-month-old child, what needs to be fixed or restocked in the home and matters of that nature.
Honestly, I kept hoping she would change until I found out last week that she is pregnant again. She is a good woman. I have never had to worry about the kind of mother she is. I know she is an amazing mother to our child. That’s why I decided to start our marriage process when I found out about the second pregnancy. Our families are already involved and we live together, so it’s just a matter of buying everything on the marriage list and picking a date.
Ever since I took the step for us to make things official, I have been asking myself if I am ready to leave such a life. One where I can’t have intellectual and engaging conversations with my wife. Will I be content with coming home to ask about the kids and discussing family matters, and then spend time on my phone to cure boredom?
I found that answer when I thought about a lady I met during field work. She is very knowledgeable, well-informed. She tickles my mind. I have never felt bored talking to her.
READ ALSO: I Date Men Who Expect Me To Take Care Of Them Because I Am A Nurse
We have meaningful things. You know: current affairs, investments, and business plans. The more I talk to her, the more she touches a piece of my heart. She fills the conversational and intellectual gap I lack at home.
I am not saying I want to marry instead of my baby mama. It’s just that I have been thinking and reevaluating my life. I know you can’t have it all in one person but what’s so difficult about going online to get updated on what’s going on with the world? Why can’t my woman do just that for me so that I can have something to talk to her about?
Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?
This is what is pushing me to think of the new woman I met as a potential love interest. I know how it sounds. Even my heart tells me it would be wrong to leave the mother of my child because I am bored with our conversations. Especially, when I have lived with her long enough to know that she is a good woman.
I also can’t shake off my fear of living a life that feels boring and unfulfilling in terms of companionship. Marriage is a long journey. I don’t want to make a choice that will rob me of happiness. What do you think I should do?
—Jojoe
This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.
#SB
I think you obviously want to die before your time. That intellectual lady will not only update you on current affairs but will also update you on how low class you’ve become to her when she surges in life.
A piece of advice, “Teach your baby mama by doing it with her not instructing her”. She get along with time. Don’t lose this gem, the field is mostly not greener on the other side.
You said it yourself, one can’t get everything one wants in one human. The intellectual stimuli that you need? Get it from outside, but not from a woman. Why, don’t you have friends? And what are friends for? What you are missing from your wife, most men get it from outside. You need to change your negative attitude fast.
I fully agree with the above comments
You’ve impregnated her twice, not even once, before seeking for advice. Hmmmm
If she is a good mother like you said please marry her.
You will not die of boredom, trust me, whe the children grow up p3, boredom is over. You will beg for boredom and you won’t find.
Marry her!
Change your strategy. Find out what interests her and research about it. Current affairs may not be four her but she’s obviously interested in children and their upbringing, home management! Men traditionally disregard areas that tickle women but it’s no crime for a man to delve into fashion or cuisine for example. Speak to your feminine side more intimately and you are bound to find common ground and fall in love with her all over again