I met a guy one evening while heading out for dinner after work. It was the same restaurant I always go to, nothing special—until that night. He was sitting with a friend, and after a few polite invitations and plenty of persuasion, I agreed to join their table.

We talked for hours, and when we finally parted ways, I could already feel butterflies in my tummy, and I was certain he felt it too. It was in the way he behaved towards me.

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He cared so much. He would call late at night and early in the morning, even before I got out of bed for work. Sometimes he would ask me out randomly, a spontaneous date at night. He felt unreal. These days, men don’t do that, so it felt special.

One time, he showed up at my workplace with all smiles. It felt like I was in a telenovela. I was so moved, all giggles, and truly impressed by the act. I was certain, just maybe, this was the beginning of something beautiful.

Then one night, he said he was feeling dizzy and cold, so we couldn’t talk. I didn’t think much of it. I told him to rest, that it was okay, and that we didn’t need to talk that evening. I was concerned, and I let him relax.

By morning, I was up early and quick to call him. Once, twice, then ten times. The calls went through, but he didn’t pick up. Four whole days passed, and still nothing.

My feelings were bruised a little, but it didn’t matter because I didn’t know if he was ghosting me or if something serious had happened. I was confused and worried, so I reached out to his friend and asked if he was okay. According to him, he wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want to talk. It made sense, so I understood.

I waited a whole week and called again, and still no answer. I was so frustrated that I used my sister’s number to call, and yes, he picked up.

I asked why he was ignoring me, and he said he was taking some time off to think about the state of our friendship. He also advised me to take some time off too, to think about the kind of friendship we had.

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I just held the phone in utmost shock. Where was this coming from, why now, and how did we get here?

It seems he is done thinking about the state of our friendship. He says he is ready. But I am not done thinking. I don’t know if it is worth opening that door again or keeping it shut.

—Yaa

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