When my brother got married, I moved in with him and his wife. I had been living with him and my sister before the marriage, so naturally, as the youngest, I was expected to stay with him afterward, and I looked forward to it with joy. Life with a new sister felt like a fresh beginning, but that joy was cut short far too early.

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She started treating me like her rival, and she gave me too many house chores. I love chores—I really do, but she overburdened me, and it wasn’t just the workload. She never spoke calmly, and she would shout at the top of her voice as if I were deaf and couldn’t hear her, or maybe she screamed that loud because she wanted to make me deaf. Either way, she was not nice to me, and I became panicky, afraid, and suicidal at one point. I joined the group of students who invented reasons not to go home, and my reason was simple: there was no love at home.

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By my second year of university, I couldn’t take it anymore, so I moved in with my sister, and that was the first time I felt real joy. It was like the happiness Ghanaians must have felt when Nkrumah declared independence, and I could finally breathe.

I am certain I had never felt that kind of peace before, and it brought a sense of stability that I had always lacked. Growing up was tough, and I was always moving from place to place. I remember one time being left completely alone at home with no care whatsoever. My dad wasn’t around, and my mom was sick, so at just three years old, I walked alone to my grandmother’s house, which was a long distance away. I don’t know what happened after that, but I never returned home.

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Later, I moved to Accra with my brother and sister before he married the woman who seemed to think I was trying to take her place.

Looking back, I believe the instability and the battles with my brother’s wife shaped the woman I am today, and I’m proud to say I hold a degree now, and I’m comfortable. I’ve come a long way.

If you grew up with your mother, please cherish her, because doing life without your mom or dad is harder than people realize.

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